The other day I was talking to some friends about the gift of desperation, the necessity of it for meaningful change, and how suffering is our secret friend. I do not like the gift of desperation and would far prefer a beautiful necklace or a cup of chocolate-filled coffee with whipped cream. I do not like moments that coaches talk about, the time when you have nothing left but to win, win, win, to keep going against all odds, or the moments pastors preach about when our faith is being tested, the darkest hour before the dawn, etc. I am not, by and large, a fan of pulling my head out of my ass and getting out of my own way. Case in point: I used a cell phone that was hanging by one little thread of a cord for weeks because I could "make it work" by holding it in a certain way. A friend of mine laughed about it, saying, It's not a person, Michelle. You can get a new one. Get a new one?! Blasphemy. I kept my little cell phone friend until the caller ID stopped working and its entire screen went blank.
My friend Hank used to say, you're one of those last minute, save yourself types. But who, I would argue, isn't? We are all falling apart, each and every one of us, and only love and faith can save us. My sister laughs affectionately at the things I like, saying, I knew you'd want that one. That's a real Charlie Brown Christmas tree special you got on your hands. Like Linus said, all that tree needed was a little love! So we suffer at the hands of ourselves and others from this lack; we start to droop. But then we see our little friends, the other Christmas trees, and we sparkle again. We talk about the gift of desperation, but we give each other necklaces and glittery beautiful things. After all, life is mighty good at giving us the first gift.
Michelle's Spell of the Day
"Take things as they are. Punch when you have to punch. Kick when you have to kick." Bruce Lee
Cocktail Hour
Drinking music suggestion: Stone Free: A Tribute to Jimi Hendrix (favorite song on this one: You Got Me Floatin' PM Dawn)
Benedictions and Maledictions
In answer to Jim's question about how much money I made off of my brilliant tour de force, Irrational Fears, the answer would be less than zero, to quote Brett Easton Ellis. The poetry was, in a word, stinky, and I pray to God that no copies exist. Happy Thursday!
16 comments:
Your photo is a wonderful advertisement for Motown! You go, Michelle!
Nice gun! A 9 millimeter? Or something bigger? I have a Sig Sauer 9mm, and a Colt trooper .357
Concerning friends like your cell phone, I had to leave the area when the wreckers callously hooked a chain around my dead first motorcycle and hauled it unceremoniously away. I'm still sad about it.
We have a special friend who wants to get a handwriting tutor. He is a nice man. Does anybody know of one? By the way, Michelle has the most beautiful handwriting we've ever seen. He is in his late fifties but we think it's great that he wants to improve himself and that it's a shame that people make fun of him at work because his reading and writing and verbal communication skills are poor. He is a nice person just the same.
The statement that "life is good at giving us the first gift" is brilliant, except for all of the abortions and the deaths of sacred cows.
Many Detroit dancing ladies like my genital piercings. Hindu is spoken well here also.
The Downriver Detroit Transgender Group meets every Thursday at 7:00 p.m. Come join us!
I have no doubt the Randolph St. between Woodward and Cass avenues is the coldest, windiest place on earth. Brrrrrr. Detroit is so cold.
When did desperation become a gift? I have been in desperate moments and never afterwards thought "Jesus, that was as good as a flex-grip pen"
Desperation, although in a few cases is someone just being melodraatic what good is it if your so desperate for love that you have to be melodramatic to get it.
Preachers who say desperation is a trying of our faith are as full of the shit that the statement is, it says "count not the trying of you faith an evil thing for it will make your faith stronger" and even then if you only have faith enough to overcome the desperate situation:as opposed to say suicide.
Desperation...is the thing that makes people do nuts shit, like shoot up a party store because they need crack or steal because they have gambling addiction. Or murder their kids because they are sick and heard the voice of "God" telling them to do it.
There is no growth or change that comes from desperation except a pleasent change of underwear if you are fortunate enough to get out what ever is making you desperate.
So what if the cell phone was hangin on by a thread...fucker was still hanging on and then some, matter of fact I wish you still had that cell phone witout the caller ID because then you would have to answer it to see who was calling. LOL
Trouble, turmoil yeah you can learn from negativity but I think the positive lesson is the one you remember the longest and makes the change come deeper, quicker. And that lesson comes from having peace an forgiveness towards those you have a case of the ass against
Michelle, despite all of the physical maladies that have crossed my path, the mental turmoil, the other bullshit that came and went. just heartbeats in time that stretced to eternity and then the next heartbeat came along the stretch was still there but the desperation was on its way to becoming a memory in mortality and when you come down to the brass of it all who gives a rat's ass about what happens here now because it is temporal, finite and does not follow one to the opposite side of the stretch.
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short bus and special: before I would offer any help I could for your friend,which I am willing to do,you have to give me a e-mail bdd44@excite.com holler letting me in on a little more detail.
Make certain I know who it is from in the subject line because I delete more than 3/4 of the stuff coming to this box becaue I don't know the sender
any of you want to flame this e-mail feel free but remember I have no patience for being fucked with and I have IT family that will track down your IP address because they like it when I cause desperation to help people make meaningful change.
Desperation... what a good writing prompt to use! My mind is twirling.
I've always wanted a CWP to carry around a handgun. Maybe I will, if I ever live alone.
Michelle, I mostly lurk here. So many of your posts, like today's hit me like a punch in the gut. But I really have no comment, so I'll just say that I completely identify with the frame of mind you're talking about here.
Also, if you really want to find out if there are any copies of your poetry book out there, it's simple; run for a public political office. If there are copies of the book out there, they'll magically appear.
Oh Michelle, I didn't mean for you to actually answer my question. I'm sure it had more value than that piece of crappy fiction, "Less Than Zero," which made Brett a nice chunk of change. I think, for me anyway, the gift of desperation is what keeps me writing and not money.
There just must be struggle of some sort, huh? We all have our nemesis, at least one. And, like you, I choose to befriend the inanimate objects I rely on. Good stuff, great read...and, as always, thanks for sharing.
Hi Michelle,
For lack of a better way to get in touch, I figured I'd try here.
About 9/10 of the creative writing class I'm in at Macomb let out a collective groan of despair when you didn't walk in to teach and there's been talk of getting their money back until you return.
Such loyalty speaks volumes about you and now I'm interested in seeing what all the hubbub is about. Will you be returning to teach the advanced creative writing class next semester?
Dear Michelle such lovely views of late and such marvelous posts as always. I am so delighted that you have your own arsenal of deadly guns. Better to keep miscreants away to be sure. You are one lovely woman. To you and yours Bravo! To the Walker also good points and Peace man.
Beautiful Michelle! And you alluded to Charlie Brown's Christmas special. That really brought back some memories.
John Ricci...Palm up and outward, first two fingers up thumb hofing down 4th and 5th digit
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