Friday, January 12, 2007

Some Guns Stay On Safety Forever

Years ago a woman working the front counter at Whataburger said to me, Yours is a violent energy, but nothing will come of it. I'd ordered a taquito, a breakfast burrito dealy with bacon and eggs and cheese and a Dr. Pepper. I stared at her strange reddish face adorned by the manadatory paper hat, and wondered what the hell I had done to make her say that short of placing a rather unexceptional order. You don't say, I said, not wanting to upset her delicate applecart. I do say, she said. Violent and evil. I wanted to make a joke about needing an exorcism, but I refrained. She pushed my order to me, making a hissing sound. I wondered if she saw something about me that I didn't or if she'd just been on her shift a few hours too long. Crazy bitch, I said, walking out the door and instantly regretted it. Life was hard enough if you had to wear a paper hat every day. Alas, you can't, as they say, come out of every human transaction smelling like a rose.

I'm afraid of people from time to time, especially ones that seem hellbent on destruction, namely mine. But who can tell the depths of the human heart? Life is no story, and unlike Chekhov's famous dictate about putting a gun in the first act that has to go off by the last, some guns stay on safety forever. To note, daddy long legs are the most poisonous of all spiders. Nobody fears them because their mouths are too small to release any of that potential no matter what their intentions are. Depending on your mood, you let them crawl all over you, set them gently outside, or you pull them apart, leg by leg, until nothing remains.

Michelle's Spell of the Day

"It is not the words of our enemies that we will remember, but the silence of our friends." Martin Luther King, Jr.

Cocktail Hour

Drinking movie suggestion: Woman On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown

Benedictions and Maledictions

Happy Friday! Special thanks to Jodi and Randy for being the best hosts ever! And kudos to Randy for his excellent mixology skills!


Anonymous said...

Years ago, while standing at a corner waiting for the light to change a young Black girl came uo to me and said "You are a holy man and you have to come home to talk with my mother"

I would say she was about 13 and i was about 16, this was in the beginning of my walking my path and so i took her at her word and went to her house with her where her mother simply accepted the fact that her young daughter brought a strange white man to their home. The daughter excused herself and left the room.

The mother sat me down at her kitchen table and we talked of things that I have never shared with anyone. To this day everything we talked of has become a truth of my past.

Why me? Why did this young girl in the turbulent racial times of the city even speak to me much less say what she did and then take me to her home? I know the answer now as i knew it three hours later after i left. There was no invitation to attend church with them or anything like that as a matter of truth it was quite the opposite; but what this forty year old woman told me was from her wisdom.

Why would someone recognize your energy as violent and evil, the only answer is that in you she recognized herself but coould not admit to herself that her own energu was defined in her mind with those words.

I too at one time was afraid of destructive people but I often wanting them in my world so they may choose me as a target but it never happened. and now I have no fear of anyone left within me,I honestly have no fear of anything because i know that even when i am looked at like i am a piece of unworthy shit; I am what that woman told me I would become all those years ago. She was the first of many talented people i ever met on this path but I am grateful to God she was not the last.

and I think that your last line sums it up well albeit a little strangely ...I have released it all and let it crawl all over me and finally pulled it all apart until there was nothing left but simply me.

Always Peace


(to repeat something i wrote this morning on yesterdays post if any of you are interested in spoken word art the premier series(PIC-Nap) in the city meets tonight at about 8 at a coffe shop in the wayne state area at the Java Exchange $5 cover, just off cass on the west side on burroughs)

Professor Irwin Corey said...

From a strictly sociobiological viewpoint, when speaking of certain arthopodic behaviors, CAN, let me emphasize "CAN," lack altruism. This is a truism in the E.O. Wilsonian sense of the word.

paul said...

O Mighty Isis Eyes, Shazammmm!
R2 C2!


good year

Anonymous said...

I wonder if she would have said something different if you ordered, like, a light salad. :)

JR's Thumbprints said...

Some people have a habit of saying the first thing that comes to mind. She probably didn't mean anything by it; Or she was trying to snap you out of your normal ordering routine. We're creatures of habit and sometimes it's the crazy things said to us that makes us feel more alive.