Monday, January 29, 2007

You Can Absorb A Great Deal of Pain


Once a woman who hated me gave me a copy of The Sensuous Woman. Those who are familiar with this tome published first in 1969 know that it's a pretty innocuous how-to book billed to help "the female who yearns to be ALL woman." The woman who gave it to me knew that her husband had been yearning to have an affair with me -- wives always know even when nothing has happened. She'd also propositioned me herself, a preemptive strike, perhaps. Whatever the case and cause, I was thrilled to have the book, which I had read as a child. My parents didn't have a lot of sex books around the house, save for one ancient Playboy and a few medical encyclopedias (one so old that it discussed how birth control should be illegal). But they did have The Sensuous Woman and so I read with great interest. The book, written by "J", is a study in male-pleasing at its best, not exactly Andrea Dworkin, but for its time, it seems remarkably frank and not totally sexist.

I adore gifts, adore them! Seldom do I receive anything that gives me pause, no matter what the motive or the source. The ones that have, well, that is for another day. This gift didn't bother me in the least. It reminds of my childhood, the way Coppertone or rattlesnakes do. What's not to love about a book that has a section entitled Men To Stay Away From Unless You Can Absorb A Great Deal of Pain? It's a long list, but it doesn't include the married ones. You can't, I suppose, remember everything when you make a list.

Michelle's Spell of the Day

"When you date a married man, you shouldn't wear mascara." Shirley MacLaine, The Apartment

Cocktail Hour

Generique -- Miles Davis

Benedictions and Maledictions

The last season of The Sopranos is approaching. I will be taking to my bed for at least a week when the last episode airs. My parents both loved this show and dreaded the day it would come to an end -- alas they did not live to see it. It most certainly influenced their lives -- I can say that by Season Two, they were both swearing a lot more and humming the theme song with an eerie regularity. So today I will begin a countdown to the first episode of the last season, kind of like in Halloween 3 when you hear that song, Five more days until Halloween . . . except not in that creepy voice unless you want to provide that yourself.

70 Days until The Sopranos airs.

21 comments:

Oscar Winner said...

Shirley MacLaine was great in "The Apartment." But of all her films, I liked her best in "Terms of Endearment." She outdid Debra Winger, Jack Nicholson, and a host of others in this fabulous film based on a Larry MacMurtry novel.

Santino said...

You probably think I have a whole in my head, but after the first Godfather movie, how can you be turned on by the Sopranos, Michelle?

Anonymous said...

The only book in my house growing up that mentioned sex was The Bible. My mother's only "educational" comment to me about sex was: "You know about that sex stuff right?" I said I did even though I didn't. Hell, I thought I'd invented porno when I wrote my own as a teenager. Shows what I knew.

Anonymous said...

Hi Michelle. For me it was a copy of Lady Chatterley's Lover that I found in the house while growing up. I thought, BINGO! This is a gold mine! I was always very curious about sex because everything was so hush-hush. My dad had a collection of Playboy magazines hidden away in a box in his basement work room, but the most bizarre thing was a deck of cards my mom and dad had - the women were nude but they all had 'Barbie doll' boobs. I guess nipples were too risque back then. Well, that's enough of my sex 101 experiences for today! LOL

Short bus and Special said...

We're going to the grand opening of Hooters in Troy Michigan. We like boobies, two.

Rosanna Arquette said...

I thought I could absorb a great deal of pain until after hours one night.

Martin Scorsese said...

She's right about that, and she never even made it to Club Berlin.

Linda Fiorentino said...

Kiki's death was tragic, but I had this thing going with Horst at the time and our relationship kind of lessened the pain of her passing--I absorbed the pain.

Paul said...

The whole night was a painfully bizzare experience. Way beyond Shazzzaaam!!!

Rosanna Arquette said...

It was great on top of Tommy until he started slapping me in the face. I felt like such a ho. I was one, absorbing a great deal of pain.

Martin Scorsese said...

Marcy died tragically in "After Hours," not Kiki. Linda is confused, but she's great in The Sopranos. She used to date a guy who appeared regularly on this grid.

Oscar Winner said...

I regret the misspelling of Larry McMutry's name in my first comment. My sincere apologies.

Amanda Greenway said...

He can't even do the simple things, like fail locally.

Larry McMurtry said...

Are you related to Aurora Greenway?

Naga Sadhu said...

Lovely Lady of the Spells. You are so artistic. And what is that blue thing on the Grouchie Froggy Man that you are signing of signalling of reinforcing so visionarily? Please to answer soon. The photo is so beautiful as I have come to know of you from seeing all the archives going back almost a year now. It is all so wonderful and beautiful of you and yours, Michelle. Thanking you very much,
Naga

put the mask on NOW said...

haha! you mentioned halloween 3! +5,000 points!

Marcy said...

Surrender Dorothy, surrender Dorothy, surrender Dorothy, surrender Dorothy....

Anonymous said...

irGod
Peace
The Old Lady
The kids and grandkid
Never make out with another woman because the old lady is the only person I earth whose wrath I fear
Show the old lady how to oil the furnace motor
Write
Respect our 15lb dog that killed a 250 pound black bear
Continue in peace and remember to love in Metta the few people on earth I truly know are my friends
Motor City Jo's
Poetry in Motion needs an oil change
The motor home needs another deep cycle battery
Do drugs for recreation not for health
Keep the snowfall to a minimum for the rest of the winter
Remember to keep good weather following Tommy and his band as they tour and make Florida warm for them when they get there
Two fractured vertabrae in the neck, a broken elbow and joint, 6 broken ribs, 3 knuckles broke more than twice each,three fractured bones in the ankle
Stay out of bar fights
14 surgeries for different shit
5 fused vertabrae in my spine
Blind in left eye
Quit playing slot machines so much, I lost my juju
Eat a lot of carbs because i like them
Shoot a lot of insulin to counter the carbs
Have everyone on earth make a will leaving it all to me because i am going to be the last one out the door to turn off time
Bug Brooks about the advanced creative writing class II
Let time live instead of killing it
(explained above)
Continue to wander aimlessly with God, now that the journey is ended.
remember to return Mckenna's phone call when she gets back from Arizona
Slam on Friday nights and the Max on the 22nd
Find a way to offer again to help short bs and special with their friend(who is about my age) with his penmanship and general reading and writing abilities.
Continue to surf and lurk on peoples blogs here
Decide if I am beginning to enjoy prostrate exams.


OK here's my list and I don't think I forgot anything. Staying away from married men or men in general for sexual encounters i guess could have gone on the list but that realy is an issue that was resolved a long time ago so i thinnk it can stay off the list of The Walking Mans prioities

paul said...

CajunQ
SensouosU
R2C2!
OMighty1
FoxyLadyD
wBlackdresson
coldoutside
warminside
Shazammmmmm!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I have yet to see one episode of the Sopranos. Currently, I'm watching Six Feet Under on DVD. I'll probably watch the Sopranos next. As for the book you speak of--I believe it's in my library (but it's not mine).

Anonymous said...

Now I want to check out The Sensuous Woman. Thanks for the recommendation, Michelle.