Sunday, January 21, 2007
The World Is A Dangerous Place
A few years ago in the lone star state, I went outside my parents' house to greet a friend. As I hugged him, I felt my legs sting with a thousand points of pain, and looked down to see that I had stepped into a swarm of fire ants, beastly creatures. I screamed and brushed them off as fast as I could while my sister yelled, Take off your shorts and run some cold water. Sit in it. I did as she said, watching the hives appear on my once pristine legs. The homespun cure was not taking. Turns out that it needed to be hot water to diffuse the poison. The cold, in fact, was making it worse. Despite immediate action, something I generally resist, and all the best intentions, the situation was a fuck-up, much like a screen door on a submarine.
A few years after my rape, I went to the college counselling center for help. After talking to a very nice woman, she referred me to her supervisor. I'm a little out of my league here, she said. I mostly just deal with students who can't manage their time. I broke down and told the supervisor dude everything -- how I was carrying a gun to the bathroom in case someone broke into my apartment while I was taking a bath, how I carried it into each room (the apartment only had two), how I freaked every time the wind blew or someone opened a nearby door. I don't, he said, see anything wrong with taking your gun to the bathroom. The world is a dangerous place. I looked at him with an incredulous expression, picturing year after year of relaxing bubble baths with a loaded pistol by my side. Can I have some Valium? I asked. I'm not that kind of doctor, he said. So I kept carting my gun to the bathroom, knowing I was absolutely batshit, but hey, a professional had said it was fine. A professional I had stopped seeing, thinking he wasn't all there either. At least, I suppose, he didn't tell me to sit in cold water to heal myself because God knows, I would have tried anything.
Michelle's Spell of the Day
"I like beautiful melodies telling me terrible things." Tom Waits
Drinking music suggestion: B Sides and Othersides Morphine
Benedictions and Maledictions
Happy Sunday! And check out www.jrtomlinson.blogspot.com -- He's bringing, to loosely paraphrase Mr. Justin Timberlake, poetry back. It's hysterical!