Friday, December 08, 2006

We Are All Connected By Pain


One of my friends used to date a poet named Mike who when not stunning his system senseless with boilermakers, wrote some great essays about when he first started to drink like he meant it (age 12) and some odd abstract poetry, most of which dealt with getting eaten alive by women (lots of fish imagery was employed to this end) or about devoting himself to the writing life, which he compared to a sect of medieval monks who beat themselves with little sticks and whatnot to remember Christ, not in that bullshit go to church once a week way, he said, but really remember. By Boilermaker Two, he'd really warm his hands to this idea. I wish I could be one of those fucking monks, man. They knew what was what. Boilermaker Three: I need one of those sticks with thorns on it. We are all connected by pain. That's the only way we know someone. If they leave you and you still feel pain, you will always be connected. Like so much in life, I couldn't tell if what he said was genius or booze-fueled crazy, but I listened and liked the sound of it. I'd be hard-pressed when he asked if he could mail-order a stick with which to beat himself. When I said I didn't think monks did that anymore, he'd turn foul. Of course they do, Michelle. What do you think they do all day? I didn't want to fight with someone so impassioned, so I dropped it. I didn't point out that Trappist monks spent a fair bit of their time making beer and cheese, and I'm sure God liked that as much as the hairshirt behavior.

My friend and Mike broke up -- their relationship had been doomed from its conception given the dramatic difference in expectations. She hadn't expected so much gloom and so many boilermakers; he had wanted someone fun, he said, weird considering his fixation on the masochistic monks. If all this wasn't enough, they went to see Woody Allen's Husbands and Wives together, their last date. It's one of my favorite Woody Allen films, but it's not ideal for a romantic evening out. It's all about the deep horrors of certain marriages, and its one of the last vehicles for Mia Farrow, Woody's extremely estranged ex-wife. Woody and Mia said awful things to one another in the film, things that must have been straight from the last days of their torture rack relationship. Maybe Mike was onto something with that connected by pain thing. At any rate, nobody needed to get a little stick to inflict torment on themselves. Words work just as well.


Michelle's Spell of the Day

"I’ll play it now and tell you what it is later." Miles Davis

Cocktail Hour

Sicilian Kiss

1/2 Amaretto
1/2 Southern Comfort

Serve chilled in a martini glass.

Benedictions and Maledictions

Happy Friday!

14 comments:

GWB said...

Even in a semi-comedy like the one Vince and Jenny were in, words can be plenty painful. I don't think we're all connected by pain, though. Only in Iraq.

Dick Weber said...

I like the bowling scene in "The Break-up," even though there isn't any actual bowling. When Vince asks for his wrist guard back is so great.

Richard Wagner said...

That chopper looks familiar. I like the music that came out of it in "Apocalypse Now."

The Nutty Professor said...

I had a mad orthodontist who made my bicuspids into a set of cufflinks. Upper and lower.

Morgus said...

I once had a mad dental hygenist who cleaned my teeth with a sand blaster. This same hygenist, a person I'd never met before, wanted to know if I'd go to Boston with her for the weeked to see the Red Sox. For some strange reason I turned her down.

Delilah said...

My good friend Sam had his jaw broken in two places during TMJ surgery.

Anonymous said...

I do believe we are all connected in pain, it is times of great pain when the human race comes together as one.

Anonymous said...

I hate pain. I am such a wuss when it comes to pain.

Anonymous said...

I hate pain. I am such a wuss when it comes to pain.

Anonymous said...

I have been trying to comment on your post for the last hour but it keeps saying error so I am trying again... watch this one go through.. I'll be so pissed!

paul said...

Cajun Queen of the OM
do you meditate to OM?
Foxy Lady
hotrockinmamaonacoldnite
chopperdown
thatsnofrown
R2 C2 Mighty Isis
Shazam!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I have several friends like that, people who, at times, have truly brilliant moments. At other times, they're extraordinarily stupid. Very hit and miss. In any case, sure, we all feel pain. But why dwell on it?

The Walking Man said...

"That's the only way we know someone. If they leave you and you still feel pain, you will always be connected."

So if I go up to this Mike fellow and beat the shit out of him for ruining good whiskey by diluting it with beer he and I would always be connected? Because I would certainly leave before the cops came and he would feel the pain for a very long time.

But the Shia' Muslims still do that flagellate themselves thing on the anniversary of Mohamads son's death who is thier hero or beter yet you could just go to a sex toy shop buy a leather cat o nine tails and he could get all the monkish pleasure he needed to exorcise his feelings for Christs pain. A sort of torturous masturbation of stigmata.

Personally I think God likes the beer and cheese better than the hairshirt, not that he really gives a shit about either seeing as he doesn't wear 'em or eat or drink the other. But I think his sense of humor came out better in making people wear hairshirts, probably laughed his metaphorical ass off at all the itching.

I never was intellectual enough to enjoy woody allen movies so i won't comment on whatever happened but after two sperm shots that led to twenty years of child support I have never forgot when my soon to be ex wife said to me directly in the eyes "I never loved you anyway"

So i agree sit on the stick and pleasure yourself if that's your bag but those 5 words spoken to me in 1982 still cause me pain and in that i am unfortunately still connected to someone who never loved me through the pain that, that simple fractured sentence caused me.

peace

JR's Thumbprints said...

I have discovered that the best teaching method in the Department of Corrections comes in the form of pain. Most guys will not learn any other way.