Once I overheard a man in a bar wearing a hat that said "Oilfield Trash" say to his friend, I don't know why my wife kicked me out. All that happened was I had a girl in my house who I watched masturbate on my couch. That ain't cheating. George Jones was playing on the jukebox, "The King Is Dead, Yabba Dabba Do" for the fourth time that night and Oilfield Trash's friend said, If that son of a bitch plays that song again, I'll knock his teeth out. Said friend only had a couple of teeth himself, and I'm guessing he wasn't too concerned for the welfare of the remaining two. In my limited experience, you don't want to play too fast and loose with people who have had considerable amounts of teeth knocked out -- they always have the upperhand that not giving a shit gives a person. I stayed quiet and drank my Shinerbock, trying not to draw notice to myself. A waitress cried into the one pay phone at the end of the bar about not being able to make rent that month. It was that kind of place, the kind where there isn't even a phone for employees to use for free.
This bar had been the sight of an infamous fight that had ended with someone's nose shoved into his brain on a toilet seat. He died, and the guy who did it walked, earning him considerable badass street cred. That boy is rough, one of the regulars said, speaking of the incident. Best not to tumble with him. Oilfield Trash agreed. Man, I wish I could fucking get back to my regular wife. I didn't do anything wrong. A random woman, I kid you not, suggested he take his case to the People's Court. This was not a sarcasm. I thought about what Judge Wapner might make of this scene and smiled, a small smile to myself, that couldn't be construed as such, merely an expression one makes when there is nothing left to say.
Michelle's Spell of the Day
"Black and white is the medium of hope and despair." Robert Frank
Cocktail Hour
Drinking music suggestion: The Ugly One With The Jewels -- Laurie Anderson
Benedictions and Maledictions
Happy Saturday! I hope everyone is gearing up for the hell that is New Year's Eve. Stay safe!
5 comments:
If rock is hope and blues despair, then it is the Freak, in the reality of hope and despair that is his life, who provides the best litmus test for determining the success or failure of American society.--Anonymous(ca.1970)
Happy New Year!
I remember a lot of bars like that and filled with people of the same caliber. Most were acquaintences that if you didn't have anything to say that agreed with what they said it was time to throw it down or shut up.
Sometimes I miss alcohol just because of the bar smells, the floors that have never been mopped with clean water, the bar that gets wiped with the same rag someone's vomit had just been rinsed out of, the urinals filled with ice, and the never knowing when a fight was going to break out.
Last one I was in cost me three broken bones in my ankle and eight screws and two steel plates to fix it. What it cost the other guy was about even; broke his face in two places and his nose. Great day for being in a watering hole that never served water.
And if a blow job in the white house is not having sex then neither is watching someone other than your wife masturbate...unless of course she was using his penis to masturbate with. hehehehe dumbass what was his old lady supposed to do? No hotel rooms in that town?
I was in the Old Miami one day and this guy came in a I shit you not put ten dollars worth of quarters in and played Bobby McFarrens "Don't Worry, Be happy" endlessly. Once, twice maybe; but the room was filled in the late afternoon with Viet-Nam combat vets most of whom were still having nightmares. After about the fourth playing of it two of them literally picked the guy up and put him out on Cass. Dan reset the box and threw about four dollars worth of quarters out the door where the guy still was laying. I guess he didn't have anything to worry about or be Happy about once he was away from those guys.
Me i just smiled and bought the two a shot and a beer and said as politely as could "Thank you" which was as appropriate a thing as I could have done because the song really wasn't bothering me.
I sent you a E Michelle hope you like it.
as always Peace
TWM
The guy in your story is so clueless. What did he expect his wife to do. Stange people. Hope you have a wonderful new year Michelle.
Hey Michelle,
With the type of bar you described, I'd be everyone's friend. That's probably why I'll stay home on New Year's Eve.
Have a Happy New Year! I'm looking forward to seeing a short story of yours in the New Yorker in 2007! (Yeah, you heard it hear first.)
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