Saturday, December 23, 2006
Thank You Anyhow, Bang, Bang
I once saw a television show documenting a few couples and ex-couples who had paid 2000 dollars to do a weekend-long retreat called Total Honesty therapy. They paid this money in order to be given a "safe" place to express what they thought of each other. The couples expressed everything they had been "holding back." Sweet Jesus. One woman begged her ex to go with her for closure, that most misguided of concepts, the only real closure being death and even then you're still talking to the person, the only difference is that the dead seldom answer except through freaky signs like lights flickering and whatnot. For her money and trouble, the woman was treated to such bon mots like her ex yelling, I resent your nose. The woman did have a large nose, but short of cutting it off to spite her face, there didn't seem a gosh dang thing she could do about it. After many more mean comments about her physical and emotional state, he told her that he liked the way she sang in the shower, but since he wasn't going to be hearing it anymore, he'd prefer not to think about it. After a lot of crying (mostly her -- hell, I'd be weeping had I shelled out a couple thousand to be told one horrible thing after another), they were instructed to hit each other with pillows to work out aggression. Not since my granddaddy gave me his one and only birthday gift to me, a hideous blow-up clown you could punch, had there been such a smoking hot idea.
So you won't see me advocating total honesty or punching or clowns. I'm fearful of two of those things -- I don't mind punching so much, though. I haven't hit anyone in years, but the last time I did I was dressed as Medusa. I walked up and punched a vicious little twerp who had been making fun of someone I really liked. I didn't have to pay any money, and somehow I think despite the costume and not saying anything, I was more honest than I had been in a very long time.
Michelle's Spell of the Day
"Giving me a new idea is like handing a cretin a loaded gun, but I do thank you anyhow, bang, bang." Philip K. Dick
My suggestion for the perfect pre-Christmas Eve dinner: Martinis (my preference is for vodka, which I know is a purist violation, but alas, I'm not a purist) and fondue. Fondue is the most perfect food in the world since it's small, takes a long time to eat, and is totally non-intimidating. And strawberries in chocolate for dessert!
Benedictions and Maledictions
Dear readers, if you are so inclined, please check out my cousin Jay's blog -- there's a Christmas memory about my daddy's boyhood (his Uncle Don) that my dear cousin Jay has written in his kind, funny, sweet way. Thanks, Cousin Jay! http://mypc.press-citizen.com/blogs/blog.php?id_blogs=6