Monday, May 24, 2010

Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?



Thanks so much for all the well wishes! Am feeling a bit better today, not so down for the count. Also, I've enjoyed all the thoughtful comments on my rant against beauty pageants, hyphenated names, and vow renewal. I don't have a problem with people keeping their original last name, making up a last name, taking a husband's last name (or a wife's for that matter). (And to Lana, I like the name Gramlich. You guys rule!). My only complaint is that a hyphenated name is unduly complicated and indicates a general societal attitude that everyone can have everything at any time. I.e, I can give my child both my name and my spouse's name, I can keep my original name and also give lip service to having my husband's name. I never have to give up anything. It's also wildly impractical and unruly. If these two-named children marry, then you have four names and so on and so on. I always think two names carry a deep ambivalence built into them. That said, it's just a pet peeve. People can have eight names if it makes them happy. Like the line in the Carver story "Vitamins": "People be happy, that's my motto."

I'm still sticking to my beauty pageant issue. Why ask these girls serious questions? Why, oh why? Why not make it a spelling bee? Or maybe ask them something truly patriotic like a basic social studies question about government, along the lines of "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?" I'll be back tomorrow with a regular post, maybe smarter than a fourth grader, maybe not!

Michelle's Spell of the Day
"For it is in giving that we receive." St. Francis of Assisi

Cocktail Hour
Heff is scheduled to review the new Playboy -- check it out!

Benedictions and Maledictions
Happy Monday!

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Stopped reading Playboy when they went full frontal. Always leave something to the imagination!--Bob Guccione

Heff said...

I'm pretty sure a Spelling Bee could be DANGEROUS to pageant contestants, lol.

Thanks for the shout-out (hyphen!), and glad you're feeling-better, lol !!

P.S. If you remember which issue your friend was in, let me know :)

Anonymous said...

I DROPPED MY GIVEN MIDDLE NAME AND ADDED MY MAIDEN NAME IN ITS PLACE. THAT WAY MY FAMILY TREE WON'T HAVE ANY TROUBLE FINDING ME AMONG THE BRANCHES. MY PATERNAL SUR NAME IS CARRIED ON WITH PRIDE.

jodi said...

Hi Doll, Beauty pagents have done more to screw up women than anything else I can think of. Why, oh why, must we be cookie cutters of someones ideal look? BORING I say. But what's really perverted are the little JonBenet Ramsey's and their hopeful, stupid mothers who get the ball rolling real early heading down the path of self loathing! Enough, huh? We need to get together to rant this one out fully. xo Hef is a big goofball!

Scott said...

Michelle,

Totally on board with you on the pageant thing...personally, I think they should wrestle or something.

Hope you're feeling better soon, Darlin '! :)

Charles Gramlich said...

I'm the same on hyphenated names. It just doesn't make practical sense to me.

Rob said...

agreed.

Anonymous said...

Maybe the pageant contestants could have a smart, politcally liberal friend they could call for the correct answer like on Who Wants to be a Millionaire!--Regis P.

Anonymous said...

I'd be a little leery about using Kwame Cheeks-Kilpatrick in jail!--Kwame

Lana Gramlich said...

They should ask them what their peeves & turn-ons are, perhaps. Keep it simple & self-involved.