Thursday, May 29, 2008
Sex And The Single Girl
The Sex and the City movie opens tonight, and I must report that I will be seeing it. A lot of people I know hated the show, the frothy confection of it, the inherent selfishness of the characters, the lack of gritty realism. I understand this completely. The four women who comprised the whole of it have no real family complications, no hideous financial difficulties, and an endless supply of free time which to meet and chat about men, fashion, and sex. The women stay in almost model condition despite drinking tons of cosmos, eating terrible food, never seeming to work out. This isn't real life, not even close. But having said all that, I can defend the show on the basis that it captures something about the obsessive nature of women and their analysis of men, the way some women can take something a man says in passing and midrash that statement as if it were the sacred Torah. It also addresses the horrors and joys of sex, opening up the scary questions -- what's normal, the judgement passed on women who sleep with lots of people (and I have to say, praise be to Jesus, that the "sluttish" woman is never punished for her wild ways), the concerns of age and sexuality and fertility, the fear people have of single women.
My friend Hank used to say that married people were always on their best behavior around their single friends, silently fighting up until the question of marriage is brought up and then it's the best thing ever, really! "It's like something bad in tupperware," he said. "Here, try this!" I don't share his cynical view entirely --when marriage works, it's the best thing going. But like one of the minor characters said in Sex and the City, Marriage is like couture. It must fit perfectly or it's a disaster. A lot of my married friends in moments of honesty tell me that they wish to be single again or that they fear their single friends will steal their husbands. Again, I defer to Hank. All you know about someone you steal is that they can be stolen. Not much comfort to rest on there, whether it be a single bed or a king-size one. I still have a set of sheets from my first marriage. Even after all these years, they still exist in the corporal world, not beautiful, but sturdy enough for a single girl to enjoy for a long time.
Michelle's Spell of the Day
"I could kill myself." Me after the Pistons loss (by four points!) last night
Drinking movie suggestion: Sex and the City
Benedictions and Maledictions