Friday, May 02, 2008

Nobody Ever Knew

The other day one of my favorite students was telling a story about getting various toys from an off-brand shop, the kind of place where all the merchandise has a little something wrong with it. "You'd be making Ken have sex with Barbie and his leg would come off," she said. This struck me as good of preparation for actual sex as any and much better than mine which consisted of sitting around listening to Grover Washington Jr.'s Winelight and dreaming of some mystical experience that wouldn't involve pain or ugliness, only the most perfect of couplings covered by a misty-colored drape. When I finally did have sex with someone, that someone being my high school English teacher (he wasn't married, only twice my age), it didn't seem like that big of a deal. This was the experience a thousand drillion songs nattered on about? A night with my friends at the Captain D's (a lowbrow version of Long John Silver's)in Ft. Worth could provide more drama.

Our affair was short-lived and nobody ever knew about it. Said teacher quit the job, miserable as could be about being stuck in Mineral Wells without any inspiration for the novel he wanted to write. I felt sorry for him since he was always so depressed and even I knew that your life wasn't good when it elicited pity from a fifteen year old girl. There's an old joke about Mineral Wells, about it not being the end of the world, but that you could see the end of the world from there. I wished him well when he left and was glad that I learned about Freytag's triangle from him. I'd learn many ways to tell a story in the years to come, but as they say, you don't forget your first.

Michelle's Spell of the Day
"I really look at my childhood as being one giant rusty tuna can that I continue to recycle in many different shapes." Augusten Burroughs

Cocktail Hour
Drinking movie suggestion: Center Of The Earth
Benedictions and Maledictions
Happy Friday!


Cheri said...

Ahh I believe that that store is called Big Lots. We have one near my house. When I was a kid I stole some money from my parents, not knowing that because my mom took money from that drawer, I couldn't, and bought a bunch of Barbies from there. All the dolls broke, being misfits that didn't pass the highest checklist at the Mattel plant, not destined to line the shelves at Toys'R'Us. The flawed dolls reflected my act and it's consequences.

You are too gorgeous in those mountains. JB and I looked at these pictures of you recently and we both want to go to that place, too.

chris said...

Hmm, the place looks like Camel Rock in the photograph wearing the black dress.

Anonymous said...

Get great tuna in a convenient plastic pouch at Krogers!--Mr. Whipple

Anonymous said...

What about the horseshoes guys.? You has many firsttimes!!!!--Short bus and Special

the walking man said...

Preparing for first time sex...uhhh mmm, sorry my memory doesn't go back that far. A good telling though; I'm not sure about females of the fifteen year old variety but you sure as hell fulfilled the fantasy of about 99% of males.

We all had a teacher we wanted. Which isn't really amazing when your brought up in that environment by nuns, jaysus even the ancient 35+ year old lay {snicker} teachers looked good to a horny 15yr old in comparison.

Laughing Peace


Charles Gramlich said...

Considering my reading habits as a kid, my first sexual fantasies involved women with weird skin colors like purple or gold or silver.