Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Covered In Broken Glass
I knew someone who once pretended to have a broken leg to win his love back. He'd said he was in a bar fight and carried around a bottle of old painkillers and hobbled about on crutches, pretending to be hurt. It wasn't easy to remember to limp and after he'd had a few beers, I caught him walking normally and was onto his trick. The woman of his affection did not give two shits about him, broken leg or no, and he ended up getting very drunk and singing a bunch of George Jones' songs and throwing beer bottles at the side of his house. I told Mr. Fake Cripple Boy to cut it out, but he didn't want to stop. Who does? Self-destruction has its own joys, strange as they are.
I stayed at that same party a little too long and ended up punching a vegan in the face which is not my nature as I am weak, scrawny and prone to running from a fight. But I had it with his pasty evil self and there you have it. My mother wrote in my baby book that I did not have a great appetite, but that I loved "all meats." So I suppose I had that going for me early. The night wore on, my friend dumped his crutches because pretending to be hurt took so much fucking work that he'd given up. When I got up to carry my own dumb ass home in the morning, I saw his crutches in the mud, covered in broken glass. The scene looked like a shrine or an accident, where someone had walked away from his pain and left the evidence for all to witness the majestic evidence of healing.
Michelle's Spell of the Day
"I spent my money on cocaine, women, and cars. The rest went to foolishness." George Jones
Drinking novel suggestion: Then We Came To The End Joshua Ferris
Benedictions and Maledictions
Happy Tuesday! Thanks so much for all the great sex scene suggestions -- will take all into account from Penthouse to Terminator! I'd love more ideas as the week continues so feel free to contribute.