Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Covered In Broken Glass




I knew someone who once pretended to have a broken leg to win his love back. He'd said he was in a bar fight and carried around a bottle of old painkillers and hobbled about on crutches, pretending to be hurt. It wasn't easy to remember to limp and after he'd had a few beers, I caught him walking normally and was onto his trick. The woman of his affection did not give two shits about him, broken leg or no, and he ended up getting very drunk and singing a bunch of George Jones' songs and throwing beer bottles at the side of his house. I told Mr. Fake Cripple Boy to cut it out, but he didn't want to stop. Who does? Self-destruction has its own joys, strange as they are.

I stayed at that same party a little too long and ended up punching a vegan in the face which is not my nature as I am weak, scrawny and prone to running from a fight. But I had it with his pasty evil self and there you have it. My mother wrote in my baby book that I did not have a great appetite, but that I loved "all meats." So I suppose I had that going for me early. The night wore on, my friend dumped his crutches because pretending to be hurt took so much fucking work that he'd given up. When I got up to carry my own dumb ass home in the morning, I saw his crutches in the mud, covered in broken glass. The scene looked like a shrine or an accident, where someone had walked away from his pain and left the evidence for all to witness the majestic evidence of healing.

Michelle's Spell of the Day
"I spent my money on cocaine, women, and cars. The rest went to foolishness." George Jones

Cocktail Hour
Drinking novel suggestion: Then We Came To The End Joshua Ferris

Benedictions and Maledictions
Happy Tuesday! Thanks so much for all the great sex scene suggestions -- will take all into account from Penthouse to Terminator! I'd love more ideas as the week continues so feel free to contribute.

13 comments:

chris said...

I had a psycho wife at one time, My two good legs could not run fast enough or far enough. It ended with friends taking out restraining orders.

Always enjoy a good party, but when you drink just to be able to go home, someones gotta go.

Drinking and spining old Hank Williams 33's, Sure aint no way to be.

I said why don't you love me like you used to do ???

Thats the question you start asking at about the 6 - 8 year mark.

robthefob said...

FUCK VEGANS!!

Anonymous said...

Sex scene suggestion: Kate Winslet fucks her deprogrammer, Harvey Keitel, hot and heavy in "Holy Smoke."--Oscar Winner

Anonymous said...

Go Pistons!--Fred Zollner

Anonymous said...

On to the Stanley Cup, Wings!!!--JLCGULL

Wil said...

Damn that was deep. Seriously, that's the kinds of things I think of when I happen upon images like that. Cool!

laughingwolf said...

the answer, as we all know by now, is: forty-two ;) lol

Joe said...

I am envious.

I have been aching for the opportunity to punch a vegan in the face.

Charles Gramlich said...

It sure would be nice to be able to walk away from the pain. But it travels with us, much like a real broken leg.

Anonymous said...

My son just experienced the female version of that type of desperation. That is when the girl claims to be pregnant to get the guy to stay. Like the unbroken leg, she was spinning a lie.
Phoenix Rising

Lana Gramlich said...

Is this part of a fictional story or a "real life" story? Very interesting, either way.

jodi said...

Darling Michelle, Have you considered the scene in "Unfaithful" where Diane Lanes character stumbles upon her lover, and is slowly and painfully seduced? The mental seduction of a happily, married woman finding herself in such situation and finally succumbing is HOT! And Latino men are so dirty and seductive, too......

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