Saturday, May 17, 2008

The Adult Section

As a child, I often read Cotton Mather's sermons (yes, you read that correctly -- the matronizing librarians at Boyce Ditto did not like me in the adult section, but were powerless to stop my wicked ways) which predictably gave me nightmares and made me think about the wonders of the invisible world, all the things we could not see, what writers refer to as subtext.To Cotton (God, could there be a stranger name to have to use casually) these were demons, devils. But even in secular thinking there is the story and another story, a more dangerous and interesting one underneath.

During a difficult transitional time in my life, I found myself mildly obsessed with psychics, as if predicting the future could help me control my life which was totally in control except I was bad to all sorts of self-harm, just a teensy bit of this substance to help me get by, just a tiny bit of self-mutilation to make myself feel better. You know, the stuff of true mental health. I didn't want to be sick, but I was. The Buddhists believe that when a new stage or wonderful thing is being born, everything goes batshit. I don't believe they use the term batshit, but even so. While we see things breaking down and falling apart, there's a seed of something new that we would kill if we understood it too well. The wonders of the invisible world, the ghosts that are running the show when we have become ghosts of ourselves. For the times when we look in the mirror and don't recognize ourselves and worry that maybe, like in all the movies, because we cannot see ourselves, we are dead.

Michelle's Spell of the Day
"Faith is the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews

Cocktail Hour
Drinking viewing selection -- NBA Playoffs!

Benedictions and Maledictions
Happy Saturday!


laughingwolf said...

you seem to have conquered the major demons haunting you, m... grats!

Anonymous said...

Mather's "Magnalia Christi Americana" seemed like old hat to me when I read it in grad school. The nuns ingrained fire and brimstone into me at a young age.--Cardinal Spellman

the walking man said...

..."but rather the title deed of things hoped for. The evidence of them before they are known..."


Charles Gramlich said...

Cotton mather has been the ruin of many a young woman...

Lana Gramlich said...

*LMAO @ "batshit!"*
Ironically I told my visitor (before she left,) that the core of Buddhist belief, stripped of its awe, wonder & froofiness, is "fuck it."