When my spirit is in shadow and my thoughts turn to my internal darkness, massive shortcomings, and hopeless weaknesses, I try to dwell in past glories such as my award of two dinky girl scout badges (reading and firebuilding -- these were all I really needed because it covered the ground -- studious and destructive)or future hope, like someone will give me Pistons tickets for the game tonight and I will be transported to Chicago in a limo containing many bottles of champagne, city of broad shoulders or little cat feet or something like that, and I will sit in the stands and drink overpriced beer and the glorious ballet that is basketball will go on in front of me and even though I will surely die, it will not be in that beautiful setting surrounded by people engaged in a simulation of warriors of old. Worry will drop away like a sweater that always itched, and time will stop.
I always hated being young when I was, drawn to the battle-scarred and damaged. Always hated the bullshit of enjoying the sunny day that is your youth. Was already afraid by then, hoping to escape. But the only way out is through. My mother's lover's wife once told me that to get something out of your eye, you have to be patient, pull the lid down and let it work itself out. Anything else you did would make it worse. I still have the delicate green and silver fish she gave me, a charm for a bracelet or necklace. It looks one way in the sun and another way when inside. It glints against my skin when I chose to wear it, like something from far below the sea that you only glimpse in passing and you don't know whether to be horrified and transfixed and so you are both.
Michelle's Spell of the Day
"If I raise my arms in the blind dark/why can't you hoist me up?" Mary Karr
Cocktail Hour
Drinking accroutement suggestion: The Lewis bag for martinis - it's an old-fashioned bag and tiny bat to beat your ice to small pieces before putting it in the shaker. It makes a huge difference in the drinks!
Benedictions and Maledictions
Congratulations to Jim of JR's Thumbprints (www.jrtomlinson.blogspot.com) for finishing one year of blog tomorrow! Jim has made some veiled threats about quitting, but not before posting videos tomorrow of him performing in an eighties rock and roll band. I'm thinking that we will check it out if we know what is good for us. Good luck, Jim!
45 comments:
Twenty-five more days until the last day of the Sopranos!
Rock on, Jim!!!!! You fly high!!!
Jim is an excellent bowler.
His garden is magnificent, also.
He makes us ponder things, also.
He develops the seemingly undevelopable, to coin a term.
Jim is a good dude.
He is kind to dogs and little old school ladies.
Jim rocks!
He is a loyal brother and husband.
He is an award-winning blogger!
Jim has a good soul.
Jim has transcendental intellect.
Jim's is a cool ones!
Know of our prayers, Jim!
It looks like you're on a putting green in the photo, Michelle, if you know what I mean. If you know what I mean, are you asking for a hole in one?
We'll give her a hole in one!
More booty!
Perv.
Pervs.
"The only way out is through" is perfect. You should put that on a t-shirt or bumper sticker, although few might realize its meaning. Great post.
High and mighty loser.
I understand the truth in "the only way out is through" and "already being afraid in youth" actually the entire post feels like you are speaking to me...whether you are or not, thank you solitude is OK when you know you are not alone.
Now to business: Jim although at times I find you cynical I really do enjoy most every post you put up. They are very real even if I just glance at the picture i am more interested in the words and the way they are combined and the overall memory of the day, it is the only way i can learn, is to see other peoples writing and your's is some of the best here and you have taught me a bit on succinctness that I lacked.
___________________________________
"Rodney Dangerfield said...
It looks like you're on a putting green in the photo, Michelle, if you know what I mean. If you know what I mean, are you asking for a hole in one?"
"Tiger Woods and Vijay Singh said...
We'll give her a hole in one!"
"Joe said...
More booty!'
Gentlemen this is my friend you are making crude and ugly comments about and to be honest i find them misogynistic, boorish and most of all offensive.
I would gladly get some of my gay friends to give you a one in the hole. But kinder than you have been to my friend i am sure they would use lube after you got them erect with your mouths.
If you want sex then i suggest you do what the man who walked into the bar did. He bought two shots of bourbon, the first he threw back quickly and just as quickly he poured the other on his hand. The bartender a bit curious asked why he did that...the reply was I just was getting my date drunk.
Now the point of this diatribe is that you are all scum that once was cum that had had, that one foul and filthy seed in it that you have become.
That is one well manicured lawn.
To The Walking Man: get off your high horse re: the comments to and about Michelle. She is the one who puts up these provocative pics of herself in sexy poses. There are pics of her lyng on her bed wearing only panties and high heels. Sorry, TWM, but a woman who puts up pics like these wants to provoke a response. And just so you know, many of the people making these comments are her students, or former students, and her colleagues at MCC. Yes, Ugis checks this out daily!
"call me harpo said...
To The Walking Man: get off your high horse re: the comments to and about Michelle. She is the one who puts up these provocative pics of herself in sexy poses. There are pics of her lyng on her bed wearing only panties and high heels. Sorry, TWM, but a woman who puts up pics like these wants to provoke a response. And just so you know, many of the people making these comments are her students, or former students, and her colleagues at MCC. Yes, Ugis checks this out daily!"
OK motherfucker now you have addressed me directly so I can be just as direct. I don't give a good goddamn if she put nude pictures of herself up on top of her posts, the comments are crude, misogynistic and most of all pure ignorance from an obviously over educated bunch of fuckwads, like yourself who post under assumed names with no link back.
I have no high horse, motherfucker I just have a sense of whats right and what is wrong and if these are former students, colleagues and, other assholes from her work site then you know what? It shows why they call the place 12 mile high school.
You think because a person puts up pictures you have a right to make utterly crude comments. That makes you an asshole too, even though your comment wasn't crude it was in agreement.
Anyone has the right to free speech and this ugliness of their verbiage is not a violation of that right yet I also have the right to protest it and shall continue to do so.
Do you go into an art museum and see nudes and start to masturbate? Do you get your Victoria's Secret catalog and start to get an erection from the models? Or do you go out with your friends and see a girl dancing provocatively at a club and wait for the moment when she is coming off the dance floor and say things like this to her?
No i doubt it to all because none of you have the balls to say it with your real names and hide behind the masks of anonymity to release the ugly side of your nature. so once again cocksucker fuck you I too will say what I want in response to cruelty in a kind place. and all I have to say to in ending this is anywhere south of 8 mile you want to meet up and introduce yourself face to face with me, a broken down old man, name the place and time i haven't broken a fucking knuckle since 1989 and I am about due dickhead bitch.
myCajunQueen
IMwithWalkingMan
Irespectyou
andthoAlsoSayyouareFoxlyLadyD
itIsbecauseyouare
butmore importantyouare
KindandWriteGoodstories
poemsthoughtsandQuotes
IwillstandwithWalkingMan
and with U Mighty Isis
Shazammmmmm
R2C2!!!!!
...and to think I did a few rock poses on the beach many many months ago and not one beefcakes joke. All the anonymous comments have me laughing. As for "my mother's lover's wife," that got my attention more than any picture ever would. Thanks for the encouragement over the past year, Michelle.
TWM-
I go to that 12 Mile "High School" and I happen to like it there!
Cheri
I hope you love it there and learn as much as I did when I went there. But some where along the line you learned that comments like those I called out are inappropriate or at the least have sense enough not to put them in a public forum.
peace
TWM
TWM-
It's hard to detect sarcasm on the ole internet. ;D
It's a good school, I'm getting ready to move on eventually.
There are people here who talk trash about the person of Michelle Brooks when they are little more than rank shadow puppets themselves. They know this, as they will not ID themselves openly. They know that this anonymity is sufficient to hide themselves within. They love the smell of the inside of their rectum and they can't help it, that's where their head just happens to be stuck.
I, on the other hand, am Eric. I can say my name happens to be any phrase in the English language--even if I invent it--and m knows who I am by my every type-written phoneme each time I respond. I can't even pretend to post as William god damn Shatner flirting with her without her knowing. But I have my boundaries, and she can erase all of these comments. As far as the general piss ant population is concerned, I have an audience of one, two, or three. Good enough for me and my writing. You know who you are, silent friends.
But some of you are far more depraved and foolish than I. So some people click on to the part where they post about m's story. Not everybody can understand m's work or what her art means (not talking about TWM or Cheri or profs). But it is easy to understand why they don't get chased away; they have the right to be here and read and respond to the art they are presented with. Pics and all. And of course, very few of you can write a single romantic sentence, so you have to allude to crude sex constantly. I can't help but be amused and I'm not alone on this subject.
Here are some strange facts: One (?) of you masturbates to this blog every morning and evening. So what? One of you can't ever find anything to say about Michelle's writing, so you wait for, oh, say, me--for whatever reason you like me. So what? Then that person opens their tiny trap mind and snibbles at somebody else's response, or TWM's response, or Cheri's response, yada fuck an a. No respect, pardon me Mr Dangerfield, for the woman who got us to post here in the first place. One of you quotes trite sayings that you can't emulate. One of you knows better than to say the "student like" things that you say, you part-timer. You also know who you are, you furtive anal wart.
And I never shut up and post unrelated material. I have the mandate to do so.
Whoever you are--any of you nameless bellends, that is--you have the IQ of a mildly retarded person, even if you do write, and I shouldn't dis mildly retarded people by comparing them to you. Striker, (that's Schtricker to you non-Teutons) the Nazi Newspaper Publisher, had an IQ of 97. Let us know you are at the sucking slug slime least better than a Nazi who took more than twenty minutes to die by hanging. Please.
You really should respond to m's work on m's blog. When I get my own blog, you all can treat me like the bad guy. I write better whenever one of you drooling types posts a bunch of negative moans about my shit, anyway.
Even I am now guilty of being a fucknut. Look at me bitching at all of you who so royally deserve it. I'm an asshole.
Feel free to respond to me. I can give a rat's ass as to what anyone present has to say to me on this subject, but maybe m will laugh about it.
I really hope she does.
...that's right, I said furtive anal wart. Want some?
Many of you are not piss ants. You happen to be polite writers. Polite writers don't comment on other responses, just the main post, that's what I've always noticed about you. You are all golden and I read your blogs, too. You, too, know who you are.
Show m some love, early crew! Are you there?
I am such an asshole.
Great post, m. The first paragraph is so good. The long run-on style seems familiar...
And the sentence structure is unusual for you.
Very good work.
Isn't it grand being studious and destructive? I've always felt that way. It's like I'm the disciple of Hiroshima or some shit. Check me, I can't write an effing doodle to save my life out of the swirling toilet!
I'm a butterfly dreaming I'm the moon. I'm the smoke you keep breathing. I'm every word you can not say. I am undone, won't you take my hand as a souvenir and spit on me goodnight?
that's how I roll
are you talking about us?
...almost there. Man, am I starvin'.
Lost my shpadoinkle. Again00.
and this one makes forty. So much shit tonight. Thought it would be cool if you woke up and saw forty responses, considering.
Gee, don't worry. Only six of them are mine! Someone else was good for twenty or so, and you can't pass on that kind of effort. To bad they were all whiffs.
down with ED
I read your post and think "oh yea, that's good"...the only way out is through, the mother's lover's wife...then I come here to comment and start reading and forget what you wrote in the original post. Geez! Oh to be young again if only for the spryness of the mind.
Thanks for letting me know about JR...I'll have to stop by the party tomorrow!
get a life walking man. you do indeed have a high horse.
those comments were complimentary, not misogynistic.
give me a break, you pompous ass.
sarcasm does work on the page. What's the point of writing if it didn't?
I think this is my new favorite picture of you!! You are so beautiful!!! Your red hair looks amazing in this photo.
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