Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Three Arms And A Lot of Blood


I almost never read the newspaper, but I did today and saw a story about two men who tried to kill themselves with a circular saw by cutting their arms off. No surprise, but the plan went off without a hitch until they realized that the fourth arm would be a bit of a stretch. They left a note with their apartment manager saying they were committing suicide because their business had failed, and they'd recently been diagnosed as HIV positive. The apartment manager called the police who found three arms on the floor and a whole lot of blood. Both lived to tell the tale, should they wish. The article suggested that the men might be having a mid-life crisis of sorts.
That's one way to put it, I suppose! I remember as a child that term was thrown around a lot as a joke, usually involving men dating much younger women, the cliched sports car as an antidote to the sure knowledge that we all die. I guess driving or sleeping with someone who wasn't born when you were in high school to induce a temporary oblivion is one remedy, certainly much less drastic than cutting off your arms. The worst insult these men would get for their actions of leaving their wives, wearing a few gold chains, or God forbid, a gold nugget ring shaped like the state of Texas was pathetic. That word seems like nothing compared to the reality of cutting off the third arm and realizing their was nothing more you could do except wait to die or be rescued and who can tell which would be worse.
Michelle's Spell of the Day
"By daily dying I have come to be." Theodore Roethke
Cocktail Hour
Drinking novel suggestion: Torch by Cheryl Strayed
Benedictions and Maledictions
Happy Wednesday!
Eleven more days until The Sopranos airs!

15 comments:

Corrado "Junior" Soprano said...

I was waiting to be rescued in a closet after I mistakenly shot my nephew Tony Soprano. Sometimes I just can't seem to get things straight.

Phil Leotardo said...

I was waiting in a closet to surprise that queer Vito Spatafore at the event of his death by pool cue beating.

Vito Spatafore said...

I just couldn't stay in the closet.

Tony Soprano said...

I treated Phil and his girlfriend to a little "weenie roast" for what he did to you, Vito. RIP.

Phil Leotardo said...

You haven't head the end of this, Tony. Mark my words.

Charles Gramlich said...

Seems to me there are easier ways to kill yourself.

Sheila said...

buying a porche is mid-life crisis, cutting your arms off with a saw because your HIV positive and failed at your business is downright mentally ill.

Paul said...

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R2C2!!!!!

the unsleeping bachman said...

very nice. At least he didn't resort to using a hammer on his head with his last arm. Or a razor knife. It was indeed crisis time for the guy. Midlife just happens to be a backdrop for the gore of tying to wack yourself with a circular saw and possibly failing at that because of exceptionally poor planning. Let us know if he lives.

JR's Thumbprints said...

Michelle,
Where are you getting your news?--The National Enquire. Kind of bizarre, but it goes to show you, people are capable of anything.

the walking man said...

Let me see if I have this right...you ave two guys diagnosed as HIV positive and their business failed so they attempted suicide by using a saw to cut thier arms off hoping to bleed to death but the apartment aanager found them before they died and the EMT's and the hospital were able to keep them alive to th epoint where they will live on, and the problem for them was they could not hack off the fourth limb.

simple solution, the one handed man could have taken the leg of the other severing the femoral artery which definately would have made him bleed out. did the do this limb removal without any pain meds or liquor because if they did it straight they go down in my book as some of the biggest dogs on the porch.

The paper implied it a midlife crisis, mid life is about thirty five, but I will assume thes guys were a bit older. A car or an affair may have served them better but it would have probably caused thirty or forty more people to get HIV, so what they did was try to kill themselves but instead they will now be deemed handicapped and given government support for the rest of their lives or they will find an easier way to do the trick, but the one armed man better be able to throw the pills so the no armed man can catch them with his mouth.

Anonymous said...

Dear Michelle, you are the Good Samaritan today? Terrible story but lovely post and view as always. Champagne toasts and a vigorous Bravo! JIR

Susan Miller said...

Strange. Very, very strange.

Dan said...

Yeah, I'm sure even the wives of the cheating husbands would prefer them have a fling instead of cutting their arms off.

Though maybe not! :)

Robin (Capitulation) said...

Interesting post, Michelle! If I was planning to commit suicide, I'd at least do enough research to make sure the method worked beforehand!