Saturday, March 31, 2007

Breakfast With Mark Rothko


Over my desk, I have a silver bulletin board full of pictures and postcards. The objects on the board, by and large, do not change. They were chosen as inspirations of sorts -- they include a tarot card, representing The Tower as Janis Joplin, postcards of Bonnie and Clyde, Ice-T, a memento from the Texas Rangers Museum that says, Live Free or Die, a picture of my friend Hank playing with an plastic orange skeleton, a photograph of the grave of Marie Leveau, and a host of other objects. For an entire year, I've written one blog entry a day and each day I look at a postcard of the painter Mark Rothko staring at a blank canvas, preparing to work. Some days this image pleases me; other days I find it terrifying. What could be more wonderful than to begin a new work? And what is approached with more fear and loathing? So I have sat in front of my computer and some days it's like breathing and other days is like running uphill with lead weights.
I cannot tell you what the optimum conditions for writing are -- the process is as mysterious to me as physics or balancing my checkbook. But it gives me a reason for getting up in the morning and that's a start. And sometimes I even dream about having breakfast at a diner with Mark Rothko; he's not depressed or suicidal. He's talking about his next great work and offers to pick up the check, but he never does.
Michelle's Spell of Day
"Live with the gods." Marcus Aerelius, Meditations
Cocktail Hour
Drinking music suggestion: Lovesick, Broke, and Driftin Hank Williams III
Benedictions and Maledictions
Eight days until The Sopranos airs!

14 comments:

the unsleeping bachman said...

Glad you hung in there a year. I'm happy to have things to read besides the news.

Paulie Walnuts said...

I picked up a big check at a gathering of the Soprano "family," but then I killed the waiter due to a dispute over the tip.

paul said...

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the walking man said...

I have been posting on your blog for what about three months or so, why are my posts just before or Just after Pauls 9 times out of te? Are he and I some way psychically connected?

You know since I found that new place that is where I do all my writing at, it seems like I don't write at home anymore. It's not like this is an ever shifting scene with great goings on to inspire me, just tables and chairs ashtrays and a few people.

I still look at that blank page and that blinking cursor cursing me and I have to let loose something just to get it to be quiet but and this is a problem for me i don't care anymore about whether it ever gets read or seen much less published. I just have to write. I even have lost my interest in performance and competition. I skipped last nigh didn't read the piece I had nearly memorized...deleted it from my memory even. I am still ranked just behind the best of the best slam poets and will have aplace in the semi-finals but I am thinking of giving up my spot because i don't care; I just have to keep writing, poetry, short essays, shorts, page poetry i just have to do it and post it on that blog. I don't even care if someone steals it and calls it their own because like when my father burned my journals I will always have more words.

Michelle all of the above is your fault.

But it's good that you did this for a year it proves (although you do care) you as well will always have wors that people will want to read. Congratulations.

Charles Gramlich said...

My problem is, these days, I don't seem to wake up with that passion or need. Not sure where it went. Not sure I can find it again. Not sure I'm even doing much looking.

realbigwings said...

You are very hard core to put up, out of all tarot cards, The Tower. Geez, Michelle. Thriving in the electricity of the upheaval of change? That is lovely though, to think of how Janis Joplin really is The Tower.

Robin (Capitulation) said...

Congratulations, Michelle! You're the only person I know who could write an interesting entry every day for a whole year! So where do you go from here? Do you have a goal for the next year of blogging?

JR's Thumbprints said...

I'm right behind you, Michelle. Not as prolific, missed a few days here and there (thirty-one days in March was just too damned long), but writing every day nonetheless. So congratulations on your one year of great blogging.

Susan Miller said...

Yeah, I'm amazed at your tenacity. I always dream of having a beer on a patio with my muses. Thank you for giving me a place to come. You provide much inspiration yourself.

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