Thursday, March 29, 2007

Mental Illness, Substance Abuse, TV Dinners

According to prominent sociologist Ken Kessler, living alone is dangerous. "It's the biggest predictor of early death and a risk factor for mental illness, substance abuse, TV dinners, and all kinds of bad stuff." I think this is, to put it mildly, a crock of shit. Bad enough that single people endure the endless sets of questions at family reunions and dinner parties -- So is there anybody special out there for you? Have you met someone yet? Yes, I have met lots of people in the course of my day as I am not a hermit. Now the soft science professionals weigh in with yet another dreary opinion about life expectancy, confirming the stereotypes of single women with only cats for companions as they grow stranger and stranger or men so emotionally stunted that they're prone to die alone, being abused or neglected by a hired companion as they drift into death's oblivion.

It goes without saying that marriage can be lovely, the sweet consumation of an overwhelming passion. I myself have always admired the Liz Taylor/Richard Burton model where they married and divorced twice, so crazy in love they were. One of my ex-boyfriend's had a tremendous admiration for the Ike and Tina Turner model. Do you think, he would ask rhetorically, that Tina was easy to live with? Never having lived with Ms. Turner, I cannot say. But I did know a little something about living with my ex. He didn't have Dick Burton's drinking habit or Ike Turner's propensity for violence, but it was, as one of my friends is fond of saying, slightly lower than Heaven. What can I say? I like a good TV dinner, Healthy Choice being my favorite brand.

Michelle's Spell of the Day

"I told them that strange things happen," the Pistons' coach, Flip Saunders said. "We might as well try to get something crazy." (Flip said this right before Rasheed Wallace made a sixty-foot shot at the last second of the game and beat Denver in overtime! Go Pistons!)

Cocktail Hour

Drinking sociology book suggestion: Bachelor Girl by Betsy Israel

Benedictions and Maledictions

Ten days until The Sopranos airs!


Paulie "Walnuts" Gualtieri said...

I don't mind being single on the Sopranos because of all the social interactions I have. Besides, I meet a lot of very nice girls at the Badda Bing club.

Rodney Dangerfield said...

Nobody juts her butt like you, Michelle. Those Healthy Choices are are really paying off, if you know what I mean.

Sheila said...

i don't think cats are a single woman's best friend... I'm going with vibrator on that one! haha I kinda of agree and disagree with the so called "soft scientist" I believe that if you live alone, and have very little interaction with people, and do nothing to stimuate your brain all day everyday... then yes, that can lead to mental illness. However, if you live alone, yet talk with people, read, write or do other brain stimulatig things with your time then you can be the same (mentally speaking) as a married person or those who have "someone special" It's all a matter of how you handle yourself.

Short bus and Special said...

Is a vibrator like the Eveready Easter Bunnies!

Charles Gramlich said...

As Mark Twain is supposed to have said, "There are lies, damned lies, and statistics." The Sociology prof's statistics are probably right, but they are meaningless to any particular individual. The important question is "why do people live alone?" If it is because they have health problems or alcohol problems that other's can't put up with, then... Well, you see why they might die younger. But if a person is generally healthy and just likes to live alone because it helps them avoid stress, then being alone may help them live longer.

American Psychological Assoc. said...

Where is the documented research for these wild generalizations?

Clement Freud said...

Your talent should outweigh any obsessive problems you may have with boyfriends.

the walking man said...

Farmer Jacks has Healthy Choice dinners on sale right now 5 for $10, they are the old ladys favorites too. But she doesn't like the salsbury steak, which I didn't know after I bought like four of them. (Yes i do 95% of the grocery broccoli that way)

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to live alone again after nearly a quarter century with the same person. What would I do with my life that would be different than what I do now?

Other than probably start drinking again, not much. My wife and I go pretty much as we please, we don't argue over anything except when she tries to explain something about the money that I don't care about and don't understand what she is trying to tell me.

I am told on nearly a daily basis by her and a multitude of others that I am crazy as a shit house rat but I don't live alone yet I agree with the assesment, especially since my last therapist or whatever she was fired me for displaying the internal rage she was treating me for. So will I live longer even though I am crazy but not alone?

Personally I prefer cereal to tv dinners even though diabetic wise healthy Choice might be the better choice but like John Lennon said "Living on borrowed time without a thought for tomorrow"

I say fuck it I am having cereal and taking bigger shots of insulin but only when the wife isn't around because she wants me to eat fruits and vegetables and doesn't like seeing me shoot up.

Anonymous said...

Dinner and sex are at the same center in the psyche of many people, they either consume all they can get their hands on or the opposite. You have to take what you can get, and be happy that the old TV dinner/relationship does what it does for you

Larry the Cable Guy said...

You know you're a redneck if you keep asking yourself when's my next meal and when's my next piece of ass!

paul said...


JR's Thumbprints said...

As a married man, I can only agree with the experts. Sorry Michelle, but I can't blow my cover.

Susan Miller said...

The more I see the more I believe what you say (for me, that is). I'm really okay with dieing younger if it means I die happier and the deal is that I wasn't happy in marriage. Soooooo...I'm settled now and have some time to do the things I want to do without worrying about someone else's happiness. And it's good. It's real good. So I, like you, will do what I want to do when I want to do it....and it seems all my married friends want to join me. Good stuff and great post, Michelle.

Laura said...

Marriage can be a wonderful thing, but only if your married to the right person for you. If not, your doomed to a life of misery. Sunday will be thirty years for us, and I can't picture my life any different than it is. I am very happy. However, sometimes I wonder what life would have been like if I ended up with any of the guys I dated before I met my husband. I think I probably would have been miserable. I heard that one of my high school sweethearts is a wife beater. When we broke up, I was so depressed about it. Now I thank the good Lord that I didn't end up with that monster! I don't think it makes much difference if your married or single, as long as your living a happy, fullfilled life. That's all that really matters.

Anons--not very anon tonight, eE? said...

I agree that the arrangement of marriage can be suitable and even cherished with the right person, but not if somebody is only being used by their better half, or abused in all the ways. That's eating the 3fer a buck banquet potpie/cruisin eight mile for a goodnight kiss; because the institution doesn't work with the values that are currently being fostered in the media. It still exists to an extent and I thank the lord for that grace in life called love/desire/lust, mind you, but the rules of fidelity and holiness of union have gone up yonder and hitched a ride at the crossroads, or so the "news media" says. Maybe those taquitos with "beef" were a little funny; person should look at the healthiest relationtioship possible under the constraints and greedy encouragement of modern media/mass society, and a helthy choice sure sounds like the best. Keep eating that Healthy Choice, Michelle.
Pistons rock, but catch a Wings game! The biggest moron in the league is now hurting people for us~E

Anonymous said...

I agree with APA. Where is the data and research that support the claim? Enjoy reading your blog. MW

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According to prominent sociologist Ken Kessler, living alone is dangerous. "It's the biggest predictor of early death and a risk factor for mental illness, substance abuse, TV dinners, and all kinds of bad stuff."

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