Monday, March 12, 2007

The Glory That Will Be Revealed In Us










Once a friend of mine told me I should start doing affirmations, repeated statements to draw good fortune my way, things that were true about my life and would become true. The best one I could come up with was, Most of my life is not shitty and good things might happen at some point in the dim, receeding future. This, she told me, was not what she had in mind. We were drinking cosmos, and she kept dumping hers. The kind waitress replaced it without charge a couple of times and eventually she asked for a sippy cup. I hadn't eaten all day (taking care of myself should have been top on that affirmation list) and was drunk by drink two, causing me to trip and fall on the unforgiving cement outside, leaving a scar under my knee. A year later, I would trip in the Target parking (totally sober this time, after shopping for cleaning products -- ah the glamour!), and get a matching one on the other knee. So there is a beautiful symmetry to life if one looks for it.
I've always contended that change is nothing short of a miracle, which is why so many new year's resolutions are bye-bye in week two of the new year. When I was younger, I'd wake up every day wishing that I was different, dreaming that I would be the kind of person who could inspire myself and others to new ways of behavior. I'd drink orange juice instead of Dr. Pepper for breakfast, I'd work out right away, I'd write for hours, I'd dress in perfect matching clothes and never have a hair out of place. I'd be lady-like and calm, never swear, be productive, hopeful. Ha! Damned if I could remember to comb my hair, much less style it, my clothes never matched, I couldn't even pretend to be lady-like for ten seconds. Short of being blinded on the road to Damascus, I'm me, for better or worse. And hey, most of my scars even match! That's a start, I suppose.
Michelle's Spell of the Day
"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing to the glory that will be revealed in us." Romans 8:18
Cocktail Hour
Drinking movie suggestion: Mr. Jealousy
Bendictions and Maledictions
Happy Monday! I'm sorry about Daylight Savings time, dear readers. I don't like more daylight.
28 days until The Sopranos airs!

9 comments:

Nosferatu said...

Daylight repels me. Ultimately, all tales are from the crypt anyway. I like it when you bend forward.

Grayon Carter said...

You look familiar. Ibiza, wasn't tit?

Charles Gramlich said...

The synchronicity of scars is an interesting topic. When I was quite young I got a nice jagged scar from a knife across the lower part of my right palm. It neatly severed my life line. But over the years the scar faded a bit. Then I had my first motorcycle wreck and peeled the palm good over that scar, tearing it away. For a bit I had no scar there, until my second motorcycle wreck, when I tore the same area of the palm and now I have my scar back.

the walking man said...

I have matching scars on my right ankle, my hip (L&R) scar tissue so thick on my asshole that I don't even think their is original skin within an inch of it, I have scars on my dick from where they cut the skin cancer off, I have matching scars on each palm, a scar up the middle of my lower back, a large scar on my elbow, matching scars on the top of my right hand from where cigarettes were put on it to see if I could take the pain while they burned out (I did)a large scar on my left elbow, a scar from where my left eyelid had to be reattached, a thick scar on my neck in front where it got cut twice, scars all over my heart and soul and spirit and not a one of them count for a God damn thing because change comes from needing to be different not in being satisfied with being different,I want to start drinking again, michelle want to be the first one to hit a bar with me so you can see a change happen for real. No bar fights unless someone else starts it, because i don't think I have changed that much to let shit slide.

Scott said...

Is there a specific significance to the gun that's been in the last few pictures that you've posted?

realbigwings said...

Michelle,

When I was young I'd cultivate my injuries to make sure they'd scar, to have evidence of what happened. It seemed unfair to have skin that looked untouched.

~Dawn

JR's Thumbprints said...

But you are productive, Michelle. Very very productive.

Susan Miller said...

Way to look at the bright side, Michelle. Screw the shoes and the belt, I have matching scars. As always, I love it!

Also, I'm with ya' on the daylight savings time. Too much sunlight can kill.

Anonymous said...

Sweet Michelle...I love your hair in this picture...and this piece of writing. Both quite beautiful. As always, enchanting! -Jill