Once a friend of mine told me I should start doing affirmations, repeated statements to draw good fortune my way, things that were true about my life and would become true. The best one I could come up with was, Most of my life is not shitty and good things might happen at some point in the dim, receeding future. This, she told me, was not what she had in mind. We were drinking cosmos, and she kept dumping hers. The kind waitress replaced it without charge a couple of times and eventually she asked for a sippy cup. I hadn't eaten all day (taking care of myself should have been top on that affirmation list) and was drunk by drink two, causing me to trip and fall on the unforgiving cement outside, leaving a scar under my knee. A year later, I would trip in the Target parking (totally sober this time, after shopping for cleaning products -- ah the glamour!), and get a matching one on the other knee. So there is a beautiful symmetry to life if one looks for it.
I've always contended that change is nothing short of a miracle, which is why so many new year's resolutions are bye-bye in week two of the new year. When I was younger, I'd wake up every day wishing that I was different, dreaming that I would be the kind of person who could inspire myself and others to new ways of behavior. I'd drink orange juice instead of Dr. Pepper for breakfast, I'd work out right away, I'd write for hours, I'd dress in perfect matching clothes and never have a hair out of place. I'd be lady-like and calm, never swear, be productive, hopeful. Ha! Damned if I could remember to comb my hair, much less style it, my clothes never matched, I couldn't even pretend to be lady-like for ten seconds. Short of being blinded on the road to Damascus, I'm me, for better or worse. And hey, most of my scars even match! That's a start, I suppose.
Michelle's Spell of the Day
"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing to the glory that will be revealed in us." Romans 8:18
Drinking movie suggestion: Mr. Jealousy
Bendictions and Maledictions
Happy Monday! I'm sorry about Daylight Savings time, dear readers. I don't like more daylight.
28 days until The Sopranos airs!