Saturday, September 16, 2006

First Dates


"Men like a pretty girl," my roommate said as I eyed my options for my first date with a music composition major on whom I had a terrible crush. My wardrobe consisted mainly of the standard early 90s uniform -- jeans and long sweaters, a good cover for my rather large ass. I also had a garage sale dress that I had doctored by cutting off the puff sleeves. My friend Melissa had a considerably larger selection thanks to her wealthy parents and she offered me some choices from her closet. She was shorter than I am and built like a linebacker so her clothes never looked quite right, but I would make them work! She had a prized outfit that she laid out on the bed like a crime scene -- a a bright red blouse with the back cut out and a short black skirt. To complete the ensemble, she had stocking with lines up the back. When I suggested that it might be too much for a first date, my roommate said the pretty girl line and that decided me. I would wear the risky outfit.

Damn the roommate I thought, looking like an off-brand Heidi Fleiss, trying to keep the lines in the back of my legs straight. The stockings bagged, the shirt kept slipping off. The thinly-veiled look of sheer horror in my date's eyes was hard to ignore. Pretty girl, my ass, I had made a huge miscalculation. I longed for jeans and a big, ass covering sweater, but alas, that ship had sailed. I sat through the movie on what would be our first and almost last date, a movie I can't recall. I do remember having seen it before and lying to my date about never seeing it. Men do like to be first, after all. Ha! I did change eventually back into my own clothes, asking to go back to the dorm because I was cold. The sweater I chose had a thin patina of grime on it because I was afraid to wash it for fear of ruining it. I didn't notice that, though, until I got to his apartment where the lights were bright and everything seemed a lot more clear.

Michelle's Spell of the Day

"My\toughest fight was with my first wife." Muhammad Ali

Cocktail Hours

Drinking music suggestion: After Five, The Rat Pack Box Set

Benedictions and Maledictions

Happy Saturday and a special birthday wish to my good friend Cal!

4 comments:

Jazzman said...

No matter what you're wearing, you can still barrelhouse, baby, down by the riverside.

JR's Thumbprints said...

Huh? Did I get cut off? As I was saying, "You should try Buddy Lee jeans." (That'll be $5 please, plus another $1.50 for the first attempt.)

Bonnie said...

Honey, you are adorable. I know what you mean about dates and men, though. It's a fine line. I am sure you looked lovesexy and your date was the dumbhead. His loss. kiss kiss Bon

r's musings said...

Love this post, Michelle! First dates are horrible -- oh, the insecurities! I guess it has its excitement, too, though. I'm just glad to be married, to just be accepted as I am, for the most part!

Hey Cal! Hope you had a wonderful birthday!