Friday, September 15, 2006

Ann Richards Will Take Your Ass Out


The first time I ever voted was in the Texas election for Ann Richards. My dad went with me, and he voted for her as well. He was trying to atone for casting his lot not once, but twice for Nixon. Richards had a particularly nasty brawl on her hands in that election against the Republican Clayton Williams. She'd been in rehab for alcohol, was a self-described housewife who wanted to change the government, mother of four, and had a tremendous record as state treasurer. I loved Ann because of her outspoken ways -- the proverbial breath of fresh air to the old guard. Clayton W., a real jewel of a guy, made a few fatal mistakes in that campaign -- one of which included a brilliant and innovative strategy for rape victims -- if it's happening, just enjoy it since it's sex and you can't get out of it anyway. Man, why didn't I think of that? Rape hotlines around the country added this one to the list, I'm certain.

But even with the rape jokes and groovy immigration strategies -- let Mexicans break rocks in the hot sun with prisoners! -- he was still in the lead. The thing that broke him was refusing to shake Ann's hand in a pivotal public moment. Texas, for all its faults and backward ways, has a few things going for it and not shaking a woman's hand is a hanging offense. I've voted for a lot of people since Ann, but none as pivotal or wonderful. In one of the last public promos she did before announcing she had cancer, she played the part of an avenger against people talking in movie theaters -- the tagline is "Don't Talk During the Movie Or Ann Richards Will Take Your Ass Out." I love the idea of a seventy year old woman with shocking white hair and a blue business suit as powerful as any superhero. Texas is hell on women and horses, or so the saying goes, but if you survive, you can kick some ass. And that's a happy thought. Certainly better than any of Clayton's ideas.

Michelle's Spell of the Day

"I have very strong feelings about how you lead your life. You always look ahead, you never look back." Ann Richards

Cocktail Hour

Lone Star (Beer Flight)

1 Shinerbock
1 Lone Star
1 Dos Equis

Benedictions and Maledictions

Restaurant suggestion for the weekend: Mon Jin Lau

7 comments:

JLCGULL said...

My father, a staunch Republican, always read the movie credits out loud in a theater, and now so do I. Once, late at night when I was young, I asked my father if we could go to the show. "You're going to the blanket show," he said. And he was right.

paul said...

Cajun Queen, I'm out my 9-11 spell but now poor Ann Richards to mourn. At least Keith rocks on. O Mighty Isis you send me round and round Foxy Lady
R2 C2!

JR's Thumbprints said...

I'm hoping Granholm takes that Amway boy's ass out. I hear he's wanted in China.

Jason said...

Vote Kinky!

Cheri said...

Oh Oscar, how I love thee, let me count the ways..

Anonymous said...

Whoever thought a google search for "Beer Flight" would land me on a page like this . . . ahh the internet.

Interesting writing, I would complain that it is self involved and self serving, but I guess that is the point of a blog after all. But seriously, why is every other picture of you on a bed?

Kudos for mentioning Shiner.

-Signed by "Insert reference to postmodernist writer here"

Anonymous said...

Any idea how credit crunch affected porn?


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