Thursday, September 14, 2006

Every Tongue Shall Confess


When I was in the ninth grade, one of my close friends had gone through an exorcism. She was a big tall girl, a fellow gymnast named Sheila, and she'd had the elders of the Pentecostal Church of God with Signs Following take her down into the bowels of the rec center, where many a VBS class was held and the church elders spoke in tongues and cast out demons for over an hour. Sheila, strapped to a metal folding chair for her "protection," sat there and prayed to become whole. Sheila had the kind of frightful family that was wrought with sexual abuse, bringing to mind the old joke -- what is a virgin in (fill in name of southern backwater state) -- a nine year old who can run fast. (Oh the wit!) Sheila had a beautiful body and a damaged soul and even I could tell that it would take more than a bunch of dudes chanting stuff to make things better. She suffered the classic post-traumatic stress symptoms, demons all, except not the kind the men imagined them to be.

Even so, I'm bigger on the power of belief than anything else. Lots of people I know practice speaking in tongues and the laying on of hands like I might think about buying a Dr. Pepper. Sometimes people ask, Will it scare you if I speak in tongues? Rock out, I say, and watch the show. I'm not so great at handling the problems in my life -- find that I turn to strange and mighty things in moments of desperation (that would be nearly all of them) and that those things often save me. I'm not going in for my weekly exorcism any time soon, but I love the idea of a deliverance from whatever is troubling me, even if, and perhaps especially if, it's only myself.


Michelle's Spell of the Day

"The best way to say anything is just to say it." Johnny Cash

Cocktail Hour

Exorcism

1 part gin
1 part lemon juice
1 teaspoon of sugar

Serve over ice.

Benedictions and Maledictions

In Memoriam: Ann Richards, former governor of Texas and one of the most fantastic versions of womanhood anywhere! She famously said of George W. that he was born with a silver foot in his mouth among many other brilliant, funny things. She will be missed!

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Today's double-header "Quote of the Day":#1: Just add Johnny Cash--Michelle Brooks;#2:All I goota do is act naturally--The Beatles.

Dr. Phil said...

Where is my tongue depresser?

Bozo said...

Where is Dr. Phil?

Waylon said...

A long time forgotten...

Johnny Cash said...

The dreams that fell by the way..

Jamie said...

Poor Ann! She was a better leader than George will ever be. It was only through the devious manipulations of his cronies that he was able to steal the governorship from her.

Ripley said...

Ann Richards was caught(twice)trying to pack the former President Bush's parachute.

Dangerfield said...

I took a date to see the movie "Deliverance." Story of my life.

special said...

Confession is good for the soul, but listening in on someone else's is even better.

Party Pooper said...

So what if the price of beef tongue has gone up. Is it more expensive than gasoline?--GWB

The Captionist said...

V is for Victory unless you're an Anomaly.

Sheila said...

That sounds awful. I also felt some connection I guess because your old friend and I share a name... also because my soul isn't exactly the purest of white... it's suffured it's damages as well... funny the things we push to the back of our mind.. then out of nowhere you read something or look at something and BAM there it is all over again... hope your friend found some peace.

John Ricci said...

Dear Michelle,

Coming in at #13, I confess! Maybe you can direct my personal exorcism in another abandoned AA basement? Lovely post, as always. Bravo! A chilled bottle of Taittinger and a dozen black roses are in order.

Bonnie said...

Oh honey, you are *so* adorably cute and sexy. Are you sure you don't want to be a singer while being a writer and poet? We only leave once, right?
kiss kiss, yoga queen
Bon

the ephemerist said...

I recommend a fine 1980 movie on this: "Resurrection" with Sam Shepard and Ellen Burstyn....about a woman with faith-healing powers unaccompanied by orthodox religion.

r's musings said...

"Lots of people I know practice speaking in tongues and the laying on of hands like I might think about buying a Dr. Pepper." God, I love that line! Cheers!

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