Thursday, June 18, 2009

Whatever Works



At the gym, I watch a lot of television. I hate nature and even if I didn't, I refuse to run outside, enduring the hooting and hollering of people who have nothing better to do than yell, Hey baby, wanna go out? Or in worse cases, darker things are suggested. Does this approach ever work? At any rate, I don't want to further ruin my skin which has already been slathered with Crisco as a girl trying to get the perfect tan. I could care less about a tan now, embracing my inner goth girl to the max even before I knew the term.

This leaves a lot of garbage in my mind -- will John and Kate divorce? God let's hope so, given that she's a screaming harridan and he's a doormat. Or so the editing would give us to believe. Who in the hell would think it was a good idea to have eight kids? Why in the hell do millionaires need to go to Patti Stanger, the millionaire matchmaker, to get a date? If you have a million dollars, can't you pay for a date? I suppose that's what you're doing, but you don't want to look like it. Will the New Jersey Housewives ever have enough marble in their houses? Okay, maybe I'm going to have to start loving nature. We watch these larger than life "realities" to comfort ourselves. Our fights are usually not as dramatic, our problems not as dire, our resources nowhere as unlimited. Excess and crash and burn. It's a good thing I can't run for very long even inside.

Michelle's Spell of the Day
"If you're not doing what you love, you're wasting your time." Billy Joel

Cocktail Hour
Drinking movie suggestion: Whatever Works

Benedictions and Maledictions
Happy Thursday!

6 comments:

Scott said...

Michelle,

I do like Nature, but I have embraced SPF 50 sunscreen as my friend...my Nordic skin does not like the Sun very much.

When I used to go to the gym, I always had my Zune with me because I couldn't stand the TV channels they would have on...it was usually ESPN,some station that played the shitty new Star Wars films, or the craptastic Gold's Gym music video channel. Only once did I see a vid I liked, for a Ramones song, and I damn near had a heart attack.

I completely understand about the catcalls...I had a friend who would yell and bark at women on the street, and then bemoan that he didn't have a girlfriend...like you said, how often does that approach work?

Hope your week is going well for you...any drink vids in the near future? :)

jodi said...

God Michelle, can they find us or what? I like the dudes at the car wash or party store that give you the hairy eyeball and then the um, umm, ummm. Why,yes, I'd love to drop here on the floor and get to it with you. That move is so smooth and original that I just get ta wantin' to! Ewwwww..www xoxo

the walking man said...

Anytime you want to run circles around me as I walk along Jefferson or wherever let me know. The pace may not be as fast as you'd like but I'll certainly be more than willing to respond Detroit style to any comments thrown your way.

On the other and BIG ANNOUNCEMENT on Harridan & Doormat + 8 cash machines next Monday.

Dave said...

Hey baby, wanna go out? Or in worse cases, darker things are suggested. Does this approach ever work?

Of course it works! Every time they holler something vile, it works! It's called publicly humiliating a woman. (Perversely, the woman is humiliated when the man acts like a dork. "What a world! What a world!" as the Wicked Witch of the West once said...)

Cheri said...

Nothing is ever more impressive than cat calls and hoots. Yeah, you've really impressed me now, you horny bastards.

I was thinking on my way to work this morning that I'd like to be African American so that I wouldn't have to worry so much about my skin and it's color. If only Dr. King could have heard that one!

Charles Gramlich said...

I've never understood the kind of guys who catcall women on the street. I'd sure like to disconnect their mouths from their brains.