Friday, June 05, 2009

The Girlfriend Experience



Thanks for all the great responses about the friend/ex issue. It's the kind of topic that generally brings out very strong responses. I think all the points raised here are very valid and plan on exploring the issues of jealousy, friendship, sexuality (thanks to beautiful Jodi for bringing this piece of baggage into the conversation and yes, I agree, it does make things more difficult), and repeat patterns (thanks to the lovely Miss R for this astute observation) for the next week or so.

I have a friend who admires people who can walk away from any relationship without guilt when he or she is through with it. He tells a story about Beethoven turning his back on someone without anger and saying, I got what I need to get. I have no idea if this is true or not, but my friend likes it, likes the idea of not having to go through the social niceties. I'm more like Larry David's self-titled character on his show when he explains that once you start a friendship, you can't end it no matter how miserable it is until the other person dies. In the course of my life, I have ended three friendships. Three. Out of many. I know that hokey poem about how some people are friends for a season, a reason, or a life. And the girl scout song about some friends being silver and gold, although it is unclear to me who is silver and who is gold and which is more valuable and if that gold will tarnish and turn green and ugly over time or the silver will flake and so on. Or if you'll get a rash from it. If you have a friend who gives you a rash, maybe it's time to end things.

Like writing, relationships are both difficult and incredibly easy. You start where you are and go from there. The more you reveal, the better it is. And yes, they can both be very lonely. Nobody understands us completely. Not even ourselves. God knows I've spent enough time with myself to be able to write a book. And did. What fun. But what is fun is spending time with friends whether they be gold, silver, or cubic zirconium. In my acknowledgments, I thank the people who believed in me when I struggled not to lose faith in myself. You know who you are. Usually when people say this, it's a bad thing. But not this time.

Michelle's Spell of the Day
"Things alter for the worse spontaneously, if they be not altered for the better designedly." Francis Bacon

Cocktail Hour
Drinking movie suggestion: The Girlfriend Experience

Benedictions and Maledictions
Happy Friday!

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

There's one of my favorite champagnes again. And yes, you can get it at certain Detroit bars at two for $100 and yes they do call it " Moe-ette," so maybe I'm going to start saying it that way too.--Eastside Marchy

Scott said...

Michelle,

I like your words on friendships...you see where they go.

Have a good weekend...and once again, nice pic. :)

jodi said...

Michelle, Hey Lovely, thanks for the props. I believe that people just cross our paths for a reason, then we hold on or move on. OMG, Anonymous beat me to the "Moe-ette" punch line. Tim and I laugh about that all the time!! Bubbles 2 you, babe. xo

Jason said...

I never got around to my opinion on it...

I couldn't do it. I was too heartbroken and we tried to be friends too soon. She was able to move on faster than I was and I spent a few nights being the friend, listening to her kvetch about other boys.

After a while, trying to be friends with her hurt more than the thought of losing her so that was it for me. I stopped being a friend.

Can men and women be friends? Yes. Can they be best friends? Maybe, but sooner or later someone is going to try something fishy. Friends after a breakup? That's like magic lightning hitting the same unicorn twice.

the walking man said...

I read this just after you put it up kiddo...and now it's hours later and you know what? I still have no comment.

the walking man said...

...Hours later again. I guess I just don't understand the concept of life long friendships

Anonymous said...

myCajunQ
FoxlyLadyD
HotLegs
RockinMama
OMightyEyes
R2C2Shazammm!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I'm kind of chuckling to myself and at the risk of sounding like a know-it-all, (because I'm nowhere near it) the correct pronunciation of Moet Chandon IS "Moe-ette." Notice the umlatt over the e, and also Moet is a german family, Chandon is their French partner. I, too mispronounced this as "Mo-ay" until going through wine school, where I was gently corrected.

Anonymous said...

I had a colleague at U of T who always chuckled to himself. He was a whiz at the Bard. Unfortunately, he was shot in the back and killed by his gay lover. The crime was never solved.--Herman Northrup Frye

Charles Gramlich said...

The friendships that have ended for me have been just the fade out and die kind. There was never any big explosion, but soon enough we stopped interacting.

Anonymous said...

And down the stretch they come!!! Go Wings, beat the Penguins!!!!--JLCGULL

the walking man said...

You say Mowit, They say Mowettay, I say Damn open up that hundred dollar bottle of champagne with the fancy label.

Anonymous said...

"Those in favour of ‘Mo-aye’ argue it is French champagne and therefore the ‘t’ is soft, while those in favour of ‘Mo-wett’ have other theories including that the name originated in Germany.
None of these theories are correct." There is instead a Dutch twist.

Anonymous said...

Red Wings win 5-0 !!!!! Pavel returns!!!! Down your throats, Pens!!! Crosby sucks!!!! Go Wings!!!--JLCGULL

R's Musings said...

Thanks for the shout out, Miss M. Glad I was able to contribute something to consider. And I love your reference to Larry David! One of my favorite shows. :)