Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Go Away So I Can Talk To You

I know a man I've never met. I know what he likes, where he's working, how his daughter is enjoying her vacation, and a lot of other mundane facts that I won't relate. I'll call him Tom because that's his name, at least that's what an entire table of his friends called him. They set up a cell phone in the middle of the table and put their good buddy Tom on speaker mode so that they could all yell at the device and Tom could talk to them, as if on cb, sounding as if he were Candy Cane on that godforsaken movie Joyride. Although my time in the sushi restaurant was far worse than being chased by a psychotic trucker. The people at the table were what we used to call yuppies, and they obviously didn't like each other all that much given that they kept Tom on the line for thirty minutes. How do I know? I timed them, dear readers, with my own cell phone, mercifully silent. I wanted to go over and tell them that the staff looked as if they wanted to take their knives to their throats, and I would not tattle on them if they did, would in fact help hide the bodies. But I'm no diplomat so I merely took notes about their conversation (hideously dull, I'm sorry to say) and enjoyed my Marlon Brando sushi rolls, possibly the best sushi in my mind, not having experienced a lot of sushi, but enough to know that Marlon would approve that his namesake roll was so good.

So I'm trying to be kind, trying to think happy thoughts about the group. Perhaps Tom was on his deathbed and couldn't be there except as they say in spirit and on that fricking cb-like speaker. And I contemplate the power of an absence. Sometimes an off-stage presence holds more allure than someone who is there. And I hadn't thought about a cb radio in some time. I used to love playing with them in the seventies, making up a handle, and rattling on about nonsense. My friends and I would talk to each other on them, forcing ourselves to hide and then speak through machines. Go away so I can talk to you, we'd say to each other. We never had anything earth-shattering to relate through the devices, but what fun we had, talking to someone we knew but couldn't see anymore.

Michelle's Spell of the Day
"If we are not our brother's keeper, at least let us not be his executioner." Marlon Brando

Cocktail Hour
Drinking poetry suggestion: In Watermelon Sugar Richard Brautigan

Benedictions and Maledictions
Happy Wednesday!


C.W. McCall said...

Catch you on the flip flop, rubber ducky!

C.W. McCall said...

We got ourselves a convoy!

Anonymous said...

how can i miss you if you won't leave? Maybe its Tom's way of dominating the scene...

Robin said...

Cell phones...pains in the ass when used indiscriminately! Love the photo -- the flaming hair! Yours is redder than mine now. What color is that? I may have to try it! -R

Michelle's Spell said...

Hey Robin,
It's good to see you! I agree with the cell phone thing -- I don't mind them really, but the speaker phone about drove me out of my mind. Thanks for the sweet comment about my hair. I envy your natural red hair, that's for sure! The mix right now is sangria, merlot, and a little rocket fire.

Robin said...

Those colors certainly look like a good mix! I've been using a papaya warm blonde shampoo just to take the edge off the gray, which seems to be multiplying exponentially! :)

Cheri said...

What an awkward thing to do! And in a sushi bar, none the less. I had my first real sushi over the weekend and lets say I bought too much hahaha.

I started a new blog.

The other one isn't gone, just saved.

Charles Gramlich said...

Had sushi just two days ago. Love the stuff. OD on it. As for the cell phone people, they remind me of cell phone folks in Stephen King's Cell. Quite rude and not quite human.

Cheri said...


I started small with the sushi, getting a chili tuna roll and a cucumber roll. I heard that salmon is a better choice so maybe next time I will get that. The nikri was good (the rice "ball" I think it's called) but I just can't eat a lot of wasabi.

Paul said...



the walking man said...

Now I know why I can never get a call through to Tom!

"If we are not our brother's keeper, at least let us not be his executioner." *sigh*

Anonymous said...

While grocery shopping the other day I could not help but hear a young woman sobbing into her cell, weeping over something her boyfriend had done and how heartbroken she was and yet she kept reaching into the frozen foods and pulled out items for her cart and marched from aisle to aisle. She was totally oblivious to the people around her.

Jacques Derrida said...

Ahhhhhhhh, the presence/absence binary. You must be familiar with my work.

The Dark Knight said...

Michelle said, "the speaker phone about drove me out of my mind." Pretty short trip for you, eh?

Michelle's Spell said...

Dear Dark Knight,

I know who you are and will expose you if you don't quit commenting. Please cease and desist if you don't want a work harassment case brought against you.

Michelle's Spell said...

P.S. to Dark Knight,

A short trip, sure? Everyone knows I'm not stable. But what about you? Why waste your time on one so worthless? Pathetic if you ask me. Of course, you've asked me lots of things, but I always said no. Which explains why you're on here. Check in with your good buddy Carlos C. on this one. Perhaps he'll have some insight, asshole.

eric313 said...

We are all with you.

What a wonderfull day this is, Michelle. I felt terrible all day because of everything that has taken place with other things. Mr. Fat Cat with so much to lose might have really have got to me tonight, but he still would have to wait until the morning. Peace wins in the end, just like the hippies tell me. It's time to have a drink and par-tay!

God bless your sweet soul.

Judi said hi, before she fell asleep.

...Except she's not asleep. She's happy really for you. She says Go Girl! And I say that too.

eric313 said...

really happy, happy really...

It's all the same fuckin' day, man!

Glad these URL's are rooted to the spot by the brilliant Mr. Evil Anon.

Susan Miller said...

Oh good gosh, where to start!

Well, I guess first of all I must write it makes me grin watching you tip a chess board. One thing that has always been evident in your photographs as well as your writing is your strength. So this morning walking into your comment section and reading as you display it in such a graceful manner inspires me to giggle and say, "you go, girl!"

Next I should write that when I liberated myself from a business and a cell phone three years ago it was one of the most beautiful exorcisms done in the history of mankind. So now when someone asks me, "Do you want to hear my new ring tone?" I simply say, "NO, but I'd love to hear what's new with you lately, whazup, tell me 'bout your life...let's have a chat in real time. And if you answer that thing while we're talking I will destroy it."

the walking man said...

Brooks if you're unstable then there is no hope left for me.

jesus everybody get rid of this word verification thing

Charles Bronson said...

Word verification makes my day. Do you believe in Jesus?

the walking man said...

do you?