I'm sitting here hoping for a sign from my friend Hank about what to write. After all, he died four year ago on this very day, and he was a writer and I'm hoping he's got some pull so that he can come down here and do some abracadraba stuff or at the very least, make the lights flicker. Instead of writing a moving eulogy, I'm feeling like it might be a good idea to assuage my grief by eating an entire carton of ice-cream for breakfast except that it would require me to leave the house and that's too hard. On the day that he died, I found myself in the exact same position -- unable to think of anything to write so I went to the gym and then to the now defunct F&M and bought him an Easter present -- a basket with a Tazmanian Devil doll. When I returned home, I checked my e-mail and there was a message to call our mutual friend Amy. I knew then and there that he had died. I stared at the Tazmanian Devil doll for a long time before getting on the phone and confirming what I already knew in my bones and then getting a list of people who would need to know and calling them.
Four years have passed since that grim Friday morning. I find myself missing him more these days -- it's hard to navigate the world without his sense of humor and energy. I'm notorious for getting lost and one of his last gifts to me was a compass with a message written in magic marker on the packaging -- Should you ever need to find your way home. The fact of the matter is that the compass doesn't work at all. The arrow goes all over the place and won't stay still long enough to for anyone to read it. Hank didn't realize this, of course, being almost completely blind. We had a good laugh over it -- could there be a more perfect present? My compass was just like me! Hank often wore hats and was fond of saying that wherever he laid his hat, that was his home. I don't know what the hereafter is like, but I hope he's got a hat, and I hope he's home.
Michelle's Spell of the Day
"I have lost you my brother/ and the springtime of my happiness/ There are no thoughts of love or poetry in my home." Catullus
Drinking music suggestion: "We'll Meet Again Someday" Johnny Cash
Benedictions and Maledictions
Happy Wednesday to all!
36 days until The Sopranos airs!