Friday, February 09, 2007
All That Unconditional Love
Besides my repeated rants about Valentine's Day, there are also other things I hate. I love to rant and almost never do because, well, it's not my chosen form. But since it's been evil wicked cold and it is Friday, the day of the sorrowful mysteries, I think it might be high time to recount some of the following: fireworks, being forced to spend time outside, earnest people who try to get me to "bear witness to my pain without judgment," almost all polka except Brave Combo and maybe even them although they are from Denton, Texas and have been on The Simpsons, mimes, theater, plays of any form and fashion except for Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, people who dislike Lou Reed, killjoys that refuse to acknowledge the curative power of Dr. Pepper, people who insist on bringing macrobiotic food to every party in baggies in order not to gain weight, sunshine, Celine Dion beating her evil, skinny little chest, people who feel obligated to express their feelings through bumper stickers, regardless of whether or not I agree with the sentiment -- from the recent weeks --My Boss Is A Jewish Carpenter, Don't Pray In My School and I Won't Think In Your Church, Smile -- Your Mother Was Pro-Life, I Share the Road with Bicycles, and perhaps the most perplexing, I Am My Own Grandpa, etc, people who insist the Confederate flag is "just a symbol, not racist or anything," people who claim to never gain any weight and eat anything they want, douchebags that tell me to smile, life's not that bad, and the list could go on, but I will not.
On the flipside, there are lots of things I adore that drive many people out of their collective minds. I like people who talk about themselves in the third person -- it's just creepy enough for me to get behind. I love oysters and guns and poetry and Woody Allen. I like decaying houses and dying plants and restaurants that serve drinks from long-ago days, like Pink Grasshoppers. I love Tony Soprano. I like watching "Web of Faith" on the Catholic Channel late at night where two priests answer questions they receive off the Internet. I love the Virgin Mary. Once I was at a dinner party and a writer that I once admired (note the past tense) asked me in a contemptuous way what exactly it was that I liked about the Virgin. All that unconditional love, I said. As I am so full of it as you can see from the first paragraph. Hey, I've got to start somewhere.
Michelle's Spell of the Day
"I love; I hate. Who can say why? I only know that I am tortured just the same." Catullus
Drinking movie suggestion: The Believer
Benedictions and Maledictions
59 Days until The Sopranos airs!