Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Too Little, Too Late

Whenever a friend expresses a desire to reunite with an ex, I tell the following story. The confessional poet Robert Lowell and his fiction writer girlfriend Jean Stafford were in a bad car accident because Robert L. was not known for his good judgment when it came to drinking and driving. Jean S. broke her nose and needed extensive surgery to fix it. They were in a rocky patch of their relationship as Robert L. was not an easy man to date -- a manic-depressive with a drinking problem and a sex addiction that earned him the nickname Cal (as in Caligula). These two crazy kids broke up and got back together the following year. After a long night of drinking, Robert L. punched Jean S. in the nose, the one that had finally healed, and broke it in the exact same way. Is this, I then say, how all repeats are at their core? Then I start humming "Reunited and it feels so good . . " because I am a smartass. Nobody, I might add, ever listens to this advice. If he or she is already asking the question, whatever you say falls under the category too little, too late.

Damage repeats itself with or without our help. I'm a klutz, the kind of person who falls so often that people are always saying Careful, careful. I almost fell into a man on crutches the other day in line. He laughed and said, You're just like my daughter -- Beautiful everywhere except the knees. I sewed up one myself -- all that time in Vietnam will teach you how to do it cleaner than a doctor. I left less of a scar. I nodded and smiled, happy that I didn't have falling onto a Vietnam Vet on crutches on my list of things I can do to help myself get into hell. I have two big scars from two different falls beneath my kness. When I cleaned them out, I promised I'd be more careful. I swore it! After all, if I really want to hurt myself, I can go on a relaxing ride down a road I already know.

Michelle's Spell of the Day

"If you're going to try, go all the way. Otherwise don't even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives, jobs. And maybe your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery, isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance. Of how much you really want to do it. And you'll do it, despite rejection in the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you're going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods. And the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It's the only good fight there is. " Charles Bukowski

Cocktail Hour

Drinking movie suggestion: Barfly

Benedictions and Maledictions

Happy Tuesday!

62 days until The Sopranos airs!


Oscar winner said...

I saw "Barfly" and "Factotum." Chuck is a loser in both. His poetry is not so hot either.

Herman Northrop Frye said...

I once loaned Amy Lowell's great-niece(who looked just like her by the way)a copy of Jeffrey Meyer's biography of Poe. She said it was one of the best books she'd ever read. The Lowells are a great American poetry family.

HNF said...

Amy was a lesbian.

Bart Cunher said...

Falling off my balance beam won't hurt at all.

Tony and Silvio said...

"You will be alone with the gods," says Chuck. We can't think of a better invitation to fire bomb him.

Edith Hamilton said...

The Greeks did not have a lot of Africans in their Pantheon.

Tony Lip said...

Being dead isn't so bad after all. I've been making a lot of personal appearances. For instance, I'll be in the Detroit area very soon.

The Elephant Man said...

The next president of The United States of America: Rudolph Giuliani. Look out, Arab world, here we come!

the walking man said...

Edith Hamilton said...
"The Greeks did not have a lot of Africans in their Pantheon."

48 major gods in the Greek pantheon and 300 more minor gods and not a one of them identified by race.
I must be wrong in thinking Jesus was not a blue eyed European. Then he wouldn't look like me, if he was a Jew of the Middle East, how would he be of benefit to me?

Tony and Silvio said...
"You will be alone with the gods," says Chuck. We can't think of a better invitation to fire bomb him."

I will be alone with God, so there is an even better reason, there will just be the two of us.

Tony Lip said...
"Being dead isn't so bad after all. I've been making a lot of personal appearances. For instance, I'll be in the Detroit area very soon."

Maybe you are dead already and if not then stay away if your fear is that great or is the money to much to pass up? Oh yeah by the way what venues will you be appearing at I might like to pay to catch one of your shows?

HNF said...
"Amy was a lesbian." so am I so what's your point?

Oscar winner said...
"I saw "Barfly" and "Factotum." Chuck is a loser in both. His poetry is not so hot either"

America is wonderful because you can freely express your opinion without giving reasons for it and do it anonymously too.

I have this friend right now wanting to get back together with her 32 year old ex b/f, she loves him and the sex was great and freaky. He hasn't held a job in 15 years of any kind, still lives with his parents,is verbally and physically abusive, constantly gets angry and blames her or her 5 kids from a previous marriage and the rest of the world that he isn't even motivated enough to get his GED.

I give this break up two more weeks, because it's already been two days and they have communicated five times that I know of. I suppose all you can do is talk then, hum Reunited and it feels so good, until the next time one or the other comes crying looking for comfort and advice, knowing like you said if the question is asked it's already a done deal.

As for me i will simply let them that want stay with me stay and continue to walk the only path I know and do it in my orthopedic comfortable shoes.

Peace and Thanks Dr. Professor

mark aka The Walking Man

Charles Gramlich said...

I suspect in my more cynical moments, which are legion, that any advice will be ignored unless it already fits the desires of the person to whom the advice is given. I suspect that I am myself just like that.

Margaret Hamilton said...

Bring me that girl! And her little dog, too!

Short bus and Special said...

Michelle looks like Margaret Hamilton! That's where the Spells are from! Happy Valentimes!

Short bus and Special said...

That's why the Wizard of Oz is her favorite day! Not Valentimes!

paul said...


Sheila said...

NO!!!! ex's are bad! Stay away! Stay very far away!!!! hehe

JR's Thumbprints said...

I think I'll skip Bukowski's advice. I don't mind taking risks with writing, but I'm not so sure about letting go of some of the things I have. Perhaps I need some time to reflect on this.