Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The Real Housewife Of Detroit

In the polluted world of reality television, The Housewives franchise has done extremely well. I haven't watched any of them except the New York ones which like my short-lived addiction to Top Chef, played during my gym time. This show took me to a city I love, New York, where women who were definitely not housewives said totally stupid shit like, New York City is my playground and I never feel bad about being privileged, lines my women's studies professor, Martha Nichols, would have referred to as "drivel" which was her favorite comment in the margins of student papers. Man, did I love her! She not only made a way where there was no way, she poured cement for a sidewalk for others. Alas I digress, but the question remains: Why and how does a show about housewives who are not really housewives in the traditional sense of the world work? Answer: Much like All My Children on speed. Mother Theresa these darlings are not. Locked in a Sisyphean yelling match about who did what to whom, they wear on the nerves in a way that a pebble in the shoe feels good for a minute. None of them stop to consider whether there feelings or arguments are important. I suppose the fact of the camera removes all doubt.

This guilty little truffle reveals some of the worst of women -- vanity, pettiness, cruelty, and hubris beyond measure. Even Bethenney, ostensibly the down to earth fan favorite, describes herself as a brand. Which is fine. I wouldn't mind having made a bunch of money teaching women how to drink my margaritas and lose weight. Note -- if you use the recipe on this blog, you will not lose weight. That's not how drinking works in my experience. If you want to lose weight, don't drink and eat less. I know this is not what anyone wants to hear so that might explain why I am not a real housewife or a brand. That and I don't like to fight with other women despite the societal belief that women are always out to backs tab, take your man, or run you down into the ground. I do like to clean and write, though. If there's a show for this type of excitement, I'll sign up!

Michelle's Spell of the Day
"Never despair." Horace

Cocktail Hour
Documentary suggestion: Piece Of Work: Joan Rivers

Benedictions and Maledictions
Happy Tuesday!


jodi said...

Hey Babe, who in the hell could possibly care about that shit? It's my experience that us chickies need to look out for each other and NOT compete over drivel. Your brand would be infinatly more interesting. Big drinks, small food, HUGE fun! xo

Charles Gramlich said...

It's all so much manufactured drama. I'm a long way over that kind of drama. In fact, I was never into it.

Anonymous said...

Is that an abandoned stockyard?

Tin Cup

Anonymous said...


I agree with you about the New York City housewives, and by extension the Atlanta and New Jersey housewives.

But the Orange County housewives, now! I just can't get enough! Vicki renewing her vows with her second husband Donn on the shore of that expensive Mexican resort! I nearly cried! And Tamra finally divorcing that controlling pig Simon (ok, he filed the divorce papers, but you get what I mean). And everyone picking on poor Gretchen because of those sex photos on the Web: boy, can ex-boyfriends be vindictive! And Lynn and her pot-head husband! They deserve to get evicted from their home! And that poor religious nut Alexis! My wife can't stand her, but I say that a woman who injects that much silicone into her system just to please her man can't be all bad!

Ah, what a show!

But I agree, the other housewive shows suck...

Lana Gramlich said...

I've never watched any of those shows. I'm just not interested. I HAVE tuned in for the artist reality contest (on Bravo, maybe?) lately. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet, but at least their contributing art to our society.

Heff said...

Unfortunately, (thanks for nuthin', Donna) I've SEEN "The Real Housewives Of NewYork".

I'll admit, I've had MANY an impure thought about JILL, but the show is K.R.A.P. !!!

I've NEVER heard so much BITCHING AND MOANING in one television show before !