Friday, June 18, 2010

Full Disclosure



I've never used an internet dating site, but my friends tell me it's tricky because everyone is using pictures that are not exactly in real time. Well, real time ten years ago. Writers do this too with their book jackets. Many of us tend toward the embalmed look and in the interest of full disclosure, my next book will have a picture that is two years old. So honesty is a difficult proposition in the face of subterfuge. But my question today is one of long-term friendship -- how much honesty can they endure? Do you, dear reader, tend to address issues in non-romantic relationships or let them fester until the relationship dies a slow death?

I'm not a huge tell all type of person. I don't hold back, but I usually don't volunteer information. My policy isn't Don't Ask, Don't Tell, it's more like Ask, Get Told. I'm not much for delivering the hard apple of truth. But I will not provide fake reassurance if I am asked a direct question. Mostly, the friendships in my life have provided the easiest and most reliable of comforts. But in rare instances (three), they have died a long, painful death, much of it from not being able to communicate. So on this Friday in June, I ask you for your stories about friendship -- how do they prosper or when do they become obsolete? Hope you're having a great weekend!

Michelle's Spell of the Day
"You desire to know the art of living, my friend? It is contained in one phrase: make use of suffering." Henri-Frederic Amie

Cocktail Hour
Documentary suggestion: Trinidad

Benedictions and Maledictions
Happy Friday!

4 comments:

G said...

The friendships of mine which had become obsolete were due mostly in part to people leaving my place of employment (changing jobs or retiring) or in one particularly painful case, over something that I wrote which in turned caused a partially devastating and completely public breakup on the Internet.

The ones that still survive contain that certain give and take in which most good friendships have.

Charles Gramlich said...

When I was younger I let relationships die rather than swallow my pride. but when you're young you can probably afford that. Now, I'm not so sure.

the walking man said...

My relationships are defined by them with whom I have them. I never push and refuse to be where I am not wanted. If someone needs or wants to hang out for a day or an hour they know how to get a hold of me. Beyond that *shrug* I can be with others or I can be with myself and still know that I, myself, have to find the way to kill the hours of the day. Preferably with as little drama as possible.

R's Musings said...

I think the truest of friendships can bear honesty and actually require it at a certain point. It's like the honeymoon phase ends and we fall out of love and have to start putting a little effort into it, if we value the relationship. If not, then it's okay to just let it die.

I also don't believe we have to be life-long friends with everyone we meet. We grow out of relationships and into others. The right people show up in our lives at the right time. And they leave when it's the right time.