Thursday, April 08, 2010
Just Do It
One of my favorite Onion headlines has to do with Valentine's Day -- Partner's Same Apalling Body Shoved Into Skimpy New Underwear. Today Nike debuted an ad with Tiger Woods where his dead father has a voice-over while a picture of Tiger looking remorseful flashes on the screen. I took pause -- this seems really creepy to me. To me, people. Tiger's father is saying all sorts of things about why, why, why to an unseen interviewer. We never get the context, but no matter. We supply it. Why, Tiger, did you fuck up your career, dead daddy is saying. Just tell me; I'll understand. Okay. Tiger doesn't speak and the familiar Nike swoosh appears.
The second car I ever owned came with a dying alternator and a Nike bumpersticker that said, Just Do It. I hate bumperstickers for some reason and tried and tried to get this one off, but couldn't. It seemed I was destined to drive around in a shitty car imploring me and everyone on the road to Just Do It! But what? I suppose it's an injunction against paralysis by analysis. Some people can live their whole lives in quiet desperation. But is Nike really trying to sell me shoes based on remorse for Tiger having just done it, a lot of it, in fact? I suppose so. Tiger didn't lose his contract with Nike, but he has to take this public scolding from his dead father. Worth it? God, let's hope it is to him. Same body, different lingerie.
Michelle's Spell of the Day
"A penumbra of somber dignity has descended over his reputation." James Atlas
Drinking memoir suggestion: Happy Alex Lemon
Benedictions and Maledictions