Friday, November 13, 2009
Three Days Standard Bereavement
Eight years ago today, I sat in a room in Palo Pinto County Hospital watching my mother die. She didn't go gentle into that goodnight and anyone who says death is peaceful didn't know Mother. Even in a coma, she managed to put up a good fight and when my sister was praying that she live, she sat straight up and said No and then fell back into that unreachable place. I can't imagine the courage it took to say no to her favorite person in the world, to insist that this was it.
After it was over, the leaden feeling came, that strange sense every grieving person gets -- time has stopped and yet life continues. Standard bereavement leave -- three days. All the cliches about time healing, about letting go. God forbid you wallow. This society doesn't do wallowing so instead we drink, drug, cut, starve, gamble, eat, and everything else you can imagine to avoid the pain. And that's fine as well. Not everything can be faced directly, like a suspect with a bare light bulb swinging in his face.
Michelle's Spell of the Day
"Nothing we truly love is lost, no matter what form it assumes." Mary Karr
Cheesecake soon, my darlings!
Benedictions and Maledictions