Thursday, April 30, 2009
I know someone who has twin sons; he says every day is like Groundhog Day -- get up, feed the babies, change the babies, go to work, come home, feed the babies, change the babies . . . I don't have this kind of life. But I do have my own personal Groundhog Day tropes, as if I'm stuck in some kind of godforsaken Kafka story where I hear things at the worst possible times, things I have heard before, things that hurt my feelings and bother me. Stuck in Mobile with the Memphis blues kind of feeling. Lonely, hurt, and put upon. The things are never going to fucking change blues. Things I would think were funny if I was in a better mood zone.
But this kind of torment can also lead to a strange liberation. Some situations don't change. Which is kind of great if you change your perspective. Make no mistake; I'm not Pollyanna, even if she is the source of my favorite joke (What's on Pollyanna's tombstone? I'm glad I'm dead!). But my new mantra of liberation seems to be It's not my problem. So much isn't under my control even when I want to make everyone happy which is kind of the source of most of the aforementioned blues. I can try; sometimes I make situations better, sometimes worse. I can listen and I can respond. I always joke about the line the bar owner says in Carver's "Vitamins": "Everybody be happy, that's my motto." And by and large, it is. But I won't go an early grave because of it. Groundhog Day or no, winter is over.
Michelle's Spell of the Day
"I have learned over the years that when one's mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear." Rosa Parks
Drinking suggestion: Video tomorrow -- I'm thinking of doing a wedding cake martini. Any other suggestions?
Benedictions and Maledictions
Happy Thursday! Still working on all the e-mails and playing catch up from recent sickness, ennui, and despair. Ha! Seriously, I should be caught up on everything by Sunday. Thanks for all the great comments and support during my final push to get Screen Test finished. I'm ready to get back to life pre-surgery, post-book.