Monday, April 20, 2009
A Girl And A Gun
Ten years ago, I spent the afternoon interviewing a Chinese restaurant owner in Troy. His wife served us plates and plates of wonderful food, a definite perk of the job I had given that I was poor, poor, poor and lived on the eastside of Detroit in a beautiful loft. I loved that place and for years after I left, I had dreams where I was lost on the streets, struck with a horrible deep sadness that I would never be able to find that house again. But ten years ago, I was there. I remember it because I came home to find my then-boyfriend watching the Columbine school shooting on television. Hitler's birthday always inspires the nutjobs and this was no exception. I thought about my days in high school, the depressing nature of April, and how I'd been taught to shoot a gun as part of my high school curriculum in a class called Outdoor Education. Really. I am not making this shit up. And how that class was probably not going to happen anymore.
The restaurant owner had told me about his wife's multiple miscarriages, a detail I would have to leave out of the fluff piece for the local weekly circular that paid me fifty to a hundred dollars a story. He sent me home with lots of food which I ate while I watched the Columbine footage. I thought about how strange life is and was and how when I was in high school, I could never imagine doing what I was doing now. I thought about the man and his wife who wanted a baby and couldn't have one. I thought about the killers, their motives. Contrary to popular belief, they weren't bullied kids. In fact, they admitted in their journals that they did the bullying. The bigger psychopath, Eric Harris, wore a t-shirt that said Natural Selection on the back during the day of the shooting. How many sad stories and legends would spin from this day and a sick feeling that maybe this sort of thing would start happening a lot more often now that the killers would obtain a sort of strange cult-like status even if all the other ones who picked up a gun wouldn't draw the same kind of attention. The law of diminishing returns, something I was starting to understand in those difficult and yet lovely days.
Michelle's Spell of the Day
"Art attracts us only by what it reveals of our most secret self." Jean-Luc Godard
Drinking movie suggestion: Grey Gardens
Benedictions and Maledictions