Tuesday, January 15, 2008

No Free Parking Anytime


A few months after my divorce, I decided to obtain a membership to a dinky faculty/staff gym, the kind of place with three treadmills, one ancient exercise bike, and some dumbbells. Here I was going to make my Rocky-like comeback into the world of the lithe (marriage had me a little fat, if not all that happy counter to the stereotype), and I knew that running was the fastest way to lose weight. On my first day there, a rather masculine-looking woman came up to me and touched my ass. "You're running all wrong. It's foot to heel, not on your tiptoes unless you want this," she said, giving me a firm pat on the aforementioned body part, "to get bigger." I hate when strangers give me unsolicited advice (I considered that worse than the touching), but I took it. Sure enough, she was right. It was easier and looked a lot less crazy than prancing on the treadmill like a deranged pony.

I've always loathed exercise but have the metabolism of a slug and the dieting habits that would horrify a nutritionist (one of my Christmas presents was a book about eating right for your blood type to which one of my friends commented, I don't think you're eating right for any blood type) which forces me to work out lest I fall into a complete state of disrepair and ill health. The belly of this vicious beast still remains running since it's fast and effective, although I am neither when I do it. The first person I ever ran with regularly was my dad in the seventies -- I inherited his metabolism and so off it was for a jog every morning. I hated the act itself, but I would have eaten nails for the chance to spend time with him and alas, jogging it was. From there, I have run with different people over the years, never liking it any better, but I always remember when I do it not to dismiss people outright like I wanted to with my little friend at the gym. Someone I once ran with used to say, You need to run over the ground, not on it, which is something I try to think about when I'm trying too hard, which is a lot of the time.

Michelle's Spell of the Day
"Sometimes she wondered if there were an agent in her body, a secret in her blood making ready to work against her." Jayne Anne Phillips

Cocktail Hour
Drinking memoir suggestion: Dreaming Carolyn See

Benedictions and Maledictions
Happy Tuesday!

8 comments:

Lana Gramlich said...

Although I'd lost 75lbs after leaving my ex (without joining a gym,) I didn't like the attention it got me. I'd forgotten how much I hated being objectified by men. I much prefer being rounder & invisible (to everyone but Charles.)

Michelle's Spell said...

Lana,

I hear you! I mainly do it for stress release at this point, but at the time, I was so caught up in the bullshit framework that I couldn't see straight.

RRN said...

I have always been terrified of being some bloated American , married to a wife who accepts the weakness of my selfish contentment.

Run as fast as you can.

RRN said...

Oh...and by the way...

The Favre quote on your last post made me grin from ear to ear.....

....Such goodness.

Jon said...

Loved the thought of running with a parent. Actually love the thought of doing anything with them. Especially now that they are gone the list of things I'd love to do or wish I'd done or could do one more time with them, grows longer. By the time me mum died last month I would have settled for just another single minute of coherent conversation.

the walking man said...

Run Forrest run! Just not with me.

Peace

mark

Socrates Rallis said...

I used to jog at Macomb's south campus. I always worried about breathing the polluted air from the brass factory on Hayes Rd. that is just across the street from the track. I noticed that the pine trees in the area of the track had their tops bent at a 90-degree angle and I wondered whether the smelly air coming from the brass factory had caused the trees to become deformed.

Charles Gramlich said...

I used to love running when I was a teenager. I got out of the habit and now don't know how I'd get back into it. Neither the will nor the way is on my horizon.