Once upon a time, Mommy bought me from an antique toy store. I lived with the other stuffed animals until I was placed into a clearance bin. Mommy did not want to go to a toy store, but she was there shopping for a Bad Man who did not love her very much. Instead of finding a toy for him, she found me. I did not cost hardly anything since I had been marked down so many times. I never had a daddy, but I did not suffer. Mommy is enough for me. Only once did she make a mistake concerning my well-being but then she let me get drunk at home every night for a whole week to make up for it. That's the kind of Mommy every boy loves! That's what my book is going to be about -- going outside, getting hurt, and then coming inside to recover. Mommy is a writer and that makes her sad, but I feel like I'm more stable than she is so I will be able to handle telling my story. I was going to go outside today, but Mommy's car Snowflake's battery died. It's Friday the 13th, and Mommy cursed a lot. I will try again tomorrow.