I was a child when People magazine proclaimed that a woman over forty was more likely to be killed by a terrorist than to get married. Of course, these articles still exist (because of the darker time we live in, the terrorist stuff has dropped out) to frighten women into towing the line. And the articles and advice constantly contradict -- from the true stupidity of The Rules (never accept a date after Wednesday afternoon for the weekend, play hard to get), to crass advice about being a bitch (no need for help there, thanks!) that men will love (there are many titles that include this idea), to the old standby, Marabel Morgan's The Total Woman idea to greet your husband dressed in Saran Wrap when he gets home from work. Besides this blatant abuse of Saran Wrap (what will happen to the leftovers?!), the books ignore the fact that I'm at work and don't really want to rush home, raid the cupboards, and wind clear cellophane around my body as if I'm a Christmas ham. If that's the Total Woman, I admit to missing the mark by half.
On the flipside, I love to listen to dating travail and advice. The men I know often ask women what works. Besides the fact that the question is not easily answered -- whereas some women adore flowers, others think it's hokey, and so on, women will often give them male friends the most ineffective strategies in the universe, a version of the razzle dazzle that never works unless someone already likes you. And I suppose that's the difficult part. After the various failures of relationships, there is always a dating autopsy. This crime scene offers clues, but nothing more. The failures of the heart, such as they are, are as mysterious as weather and not half so easy to predict.
Michelle's Spell of the Day
If I love you, what business is it of yours?" Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Cocktail Hour
Benedictions and Maledictions
A Spell To Make Someone Love You
You're not anyone special; let's start
with that. Maybe you've tried certain
tricks and treats, a potion here or there.
You packed a picnic in the rain, did not
know enough to abandon the food for love.
What now? Burn your old letters at the shrine
of the new, remove the evidence of your
former lives. Allude to a tragic past. Even
if you don't have one, you will soon enough.
17 comments:
I got a copy of "The Rules" just to see what the rules were. Those rules in "The Rules" are VERY strict, as in strictures. A lot of them. I always say, if music is the song of love, make it up as you go along. Or something like that, with so sorries to that Shakespeare guy.
Dear Michelle,
Your poem, "A Spell To Make Someone Love You," is so very enchanting and intriguing. Especially the ending. For in the end, as you know, we have the curious blending of love and tragedy which, for me, represents the intrigue and "enchantingness" of the poem. Sorry to be so wordy; nevertheless, it is a charming and spellbinding poem. Well done.
Dating autopsies are to be found in za love morgue.
I could never pronounce that Johann Wolfgang von Goethe's last name. My college history professor made me say his name over and over again. Over and over again until I dropped her class. She did not put a spell on me. She was already married.
Dear Michelle,
Going back a few Spells to your poem "Midrash," I just wanted to say I like it very, very much. It has a wonderful perceptiveness to it.
Today's "Quote of the Day": Civilizations die from suicide, not by murder.--A.T.
She looked at my palm and she made a magic sign/She said, "What you need is Love Potion Number Nine."
Number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine...
There is no trick to finding that special someone. When that person shows up in your life, you just know. Unfortunately, some people live out their whole lives and never meet that special someone for them. Others would rather stick a thousand needles in their eye than be tied to one person til death do us part. Still others settle for "Mr. Wrong" and spend a lifetime in misery. Whatever works best I guess.
Who puts an age limit on love and marriage? Seriously! That's ridiculous. I think that when you find that someone you'll know and if it takes until you're fifty for him to find you then... here's to hoping you spent your single time having as much fun as possible!
Ahh thank you for this post. =D
Cajun Queen, mighty Isis you are the LadyOFtheTigers we need your shazammmmm powerzzzzzzzz tonite tonite merrygoround Foxy Rockin Isis Queen R2 C2!
Don't want that spell anymore! Those candles didn't work for me...thank God!
LOVE HAPPENS ONLY WHEN GOD IS IN THE PICTURE.
MEANING YOU MUST LOVE GOD TO BE ABLE TO LOVE YOURSELF. THEN IT WILL BE POSSIBLE TO LOVE YOUR TRUE SOUL MATE.
MOST IMPORTANT KEEP AN OPEN MIND AND ALWAYS COMMUNICATE YOUR FEELINGS, OR IN THE END THERE IS NO LOVE LOST OR GAINED FROM THAT EXPERIENCE.
ARTIFICIAL LOVE IS ONLY THAT, ARTIFICIAL
MAYBE YOUR AFTER LUST AND NOT LOVE.
THERE IS A BIG DIFFERENCE.
ONE LAST A NIGHT THE OTHER LASTS A ETERNITY
GLENN
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I think women need to be in the vanguard of being the family comforters and get very stressed when they feel like they are making decisioins that take them away from what they feel is their primary role in a family.
isey
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