Wednesday, October 11, 2006

The Dying Art of Conversation
















So much is written in praise of romantic relationships, but very little about the joys of friends. I've often debated my friends about how, in many ways, friendship is a thing itself, not just the booby prize for not making the cut romantically. This is a gender neutral statement -- I know both men and women who would prefer to be the one and only for someone who doesn't see it that way. Romantic love is great, no doubt, but it's exhausting, all that I would walk across hell to get your hat if you dropped it off your pretty little head stuff, all that I love you, no, I love you more (these lines always make me think of the great Ben Wallace commercial for cell phone minutes -- seeing Ben in the locker room on the phone telling someone he loves them more is worth switching cell plans for). Granted, when it's working, it's like watching the Pistons beat the Heat (like they did last night in a pre-season game, HA!), but often it's more like watching the Lions -- a doomed enterprise even in the best of times.

And this is where friendship comes in, the workhorse of all relationships, the one that you don't have to put on your party hat for, the kind of thing where you can be yourself and not worry about it. I had a conversation with a friend the other day where I was saying exciting bon mots such as -- I had that dream about the Halloween store again. Then I drifted off, stuffed more salted bread in my mouth like some deranged squirrel (yes, I salt bread) and looked glazed. It's a reoccuring dream, you know, I continued, as if this were going to make the whole story come together and make sense. My friend, a great sport, said, Were you buying anything in the Halloween store? I mean do you usually buy something there? I replied, Just browsing. It's more a mood than anything. And there's lots of dying light in the store. Trapped. You know, trapped dying light. My friend nodded. What was there to say? If love means never having to say you're sorry, then friendship means never having to be sorry about not being more exciting.

Michelle's Spell of the Day

"I'd love you and be your catfish/ friend and drive such/ lonely thoughts from your mind." Richard Brautigan, The Pill Versus the Springhill Mine Disaster

Cocktail Hour

Drinking movie suggestion: Short Cuts

Benediction and Maledictions

Go Tigers! And here's to the Pistons' great pre-season start! Whoo-hoo!

14 comments:

Frito Lay said...

So, Michelle, you put salt on bread. I met a guy in a bar once who claimed to like salt so much that he put it on potato chips. Just sharing.

JLCGULL said...

And speaking of the Lyons, I will share my not too secret formula with you. I call this the "Past, Present, Future" formula: WC(Cadaver)F=Slimey Doom

Flower Power said...

Richard Brautigan suicided himself in his forties.

Richard Brautigan said...

All of us have a place in history. Mine is clouds.

East Sider said...

Statues of the Virgin Mary are smashed to pieces in Paul Clemens' memoir, "Made in Detroit."

Hut4dma said...

As my mother always used to say, save the pieces.

Big D said...

Congrats to Tigers' manager Jim Leyland on being voted Sporting News' American League Manager of the Year. Woo hoo, Go Tigers!

Anonymous said...

As much in the love how much in the friendship it has that if to have understanding and many times a simple ones to look at is enough! E when silence is heavy something goes badly! (laughs) Homesicknesses of its I sing! Beijus

Steve said...

I hope those aren't stingrays.

Sheila said...

Friends are great but at the end of the day I like my honey. I guess maybe it was because we were friends before we started dating? I dunno.

GO TIGERS! I FEEL A WORLD SERIES THIS YEAR WHOO!

Cheri said...

I agree with Sheila. The one I always go to for any sort of comfort is always my boyfriend. (Before we dated I always talked to him and vice versa.. ironic)

Via the internet and cell phones I rarely talk to my best of friends in person sometimes. I havent seen Dawn in almost 2 weeks but I talk to her everday in text messages and comments on each others journals and MYspaces. Hah. How do I say hello again?

Paul said...

Cajun Queen this a bummer most friends gone to ghost but you rock Foxy Lady R2 C2!

John Ricci said...

Dear Michelle,
Another charming and lovely post and view, as always. I don't have friends. I have associates. Girlfriends tend to drift into romances. Go Tigers! Bravo!

Anonymous said...

i'm thinking of running dating site purely for the disabled



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