Thursday, September 06, 2007

No One Was Watching

I'm one fourth French, which has been a real cross for me to endure. My mother's relatives such as they are drink way too much, throw things at each other, and make sarcastic remarks about your most vulnerable traits. To note: "Your ass is too big for your body, he he! It looks like an ass of an African person!" Let me tell you, this sounds even better in a combination of broken English and French. Hey, I already went through that torture in junior high school! So it surprises me not at all that lots of French people love Jerry Lewis who so far as I can tell is a talentless hack who despite getting sicker and more bloated every year, insisted on that godforsaken depressing marathon with those poor kids afflicted with Muscular Dystrophy. Must they be inflicted with him as well?!

But I digress. Recently, he called someone an "illiterate fag" and used the work fuck on air. I'm not so worried about the last offense -- I'm guessing hearing the word fuck is the least of Jerry's Kids' problems. But the word fag is one of those that always sets people off. We used it a lot in the eighties, along with queer, as in "That's so queer!" It wasn't directed at gay people, per se, and neither was the word fag, but I never could get behind it. A large portion of my friends in those days were closeted gay men, and it broke my heart when they'd use it to prove they weren't, trying to pass. And I can still see straight guys engaged in their homoerotic raptures, hitting each other and calling each other fags. They loved each other, you see, and had no other way to express it. But I can't really defend old Jerry. I think he was drunk and that no one was watching. But a camera caught him as cameras are want to do in this age. He also said that women comics irritated him in 2000; he looked at them "as producing baby machines." I'm not politically correct in the least, but come on! I suppose the telethon will continue with that drunken asshole at the helm. By definition a telethon goes on and on, of course, way past the point of reason and there's something a little too accurate in the definition this year.

Michelle's Spell of the Day
“My weaknesses... I wish I could come up with something. I'd probably have the same pause if you asked me what my strengths are. Maybe they're the same thing.” Al Pacino

Cocktail Hour
Drinking short story collection suggestion: The Collected Stories of Amy Hempel Amy Hempel

Benedictions and Maledictions
Happy birthday to my dear friend Karen! Here's to the happiest day ever!


The King of Comedy said...

Want to see my pride and joy?

Allastares Cookie said...

Way to go, Al Lorenzo! You'll be replaced by someone politically correct. Come on!

the walking man said...

Hey I am 1/3 of French ancestry and have never told anyone their ass was to fat, their motherfucking mouth maybe but never their ass, because usually in those days I was to busy either getting mine kicked or kicking theirs.

But I digress...Jerry who?

I read yesterday that the telethon thingy of which did not resent itself on the History channel surpassed last year by 3 million bucks, so I guess people are more generous towards homophobic motherfuckers who say address is...well you know my address at least the cyburban one but don't send me any Nigerian e-mail about millions of dollars that needs to smuggled out of the country.

Send those to Jerry Lewis.

Peace whale woman (sorry just came out while the keyboard was typing)


the walking man said...

king of comedy would that be the coke pipe that set your dumb ass on fire?

Stephanie said...

I love Amy Hempel.

I've always been puzzled by the phenomenon that is Jerry Lewis. He is indeed, an affliction.

I thought teasing each other about big asses was just a family thing. Didn't they do that on "Leave it to Beaver?"

Anonymous said...

hmmm... lets see...

Michelle: Self absorbed hottie writer wannabee whose contribution to the world seems to be a blog used mostly for critcizing.

Jerry: drunk (maybe) SOB with an uncontrollable mouth who spends at least part of his time raising money to help those who can't help themselves.

I am going with Jerry.

Yeah, that anonymous.

Cheri said...

I can never figure out why the hell that they chose that horrid man to represent them on the television. "Jerry's Kids" my ass. Maybe people donate the money to watch him make a fool of himself, time after time.

Cheri said...

Oh mr anonymous, go fuck yourself.

Paul said...


Charles Gramlich said...

I had forgotten about Lewis's comment on Female comics but I remember the uproar it caused now that you've mentioned it. I've never found Jerry Lewis funny, but I always thought he was doing something decent with his telethon.

As for other comments, I wonder why people visit a blog if they don't want to read what someone has to say? Blog hopping is not compulsary. That doesn't mean I will agree with everything Michelle (or any other blogger) says, but she always says it well, and honestly.

the walking man said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
the walking man said...

Michelle: Self absorbed hottie writer wannabee whose contribution to the world seems to be a blog used mostly for critcizing.

Jerry: drunk (maybe) SOB with an uncontrollable mouth who spends at least part of his time raising money to help those who can't help themselves.

Anonymous: Fool with a keyboard who as well as can't spell criticize; is too spineless to start a blog of their own to back track to, who is a self absorbed criticizing cretin whose largest contribution to the world is when he/she/it is silent.

I'm going with Michelle at least she teaches when writing if one has the emotional, mental capacity and lack of hate for the english language displayed by the other two.

kallipugos said...

hmmm, i didnt realize another anon contributer was hanging out here.

I agree, Jerry Lewis kinda sucks- but the "baby machine" comment is CLASSIC.

In regards to a nice big ass, dont get me started...
Any guy who cant truly appreciate one, isnt even fit to lick boots.

Anonymous said...

ma'am, i agree, jerry lewis is a filthy chauvinist pig.

Notre Dame Alumni Association said...

Congrats on your retirement, Al!

Anonymous said...

can't you just feel the love...

Anonymous said...

yo cheri, a little help here?

Ugis and the forget me not librarian said...

We can't get enough of each other...

It's like we're married, but happen to be bi-curious.