Sunday, June 10, 2007

You Will Not See The Shadows

I have never lived without a television and am one of those people who puts it on for "noise," the sort of constant droning that drowns out other scary sounds, the sounds of being alone and on guard. I have done this to a greater or lesser degree for as long as I can remember. When people tell me how great it feels to get rid of their television, I compliment them, tell them how silence is so healthy and real and allows you to think big, authentic thoughts and then I go home and turn on my television. I don't watch much compared to a lot of people I know -- my only regular shows are HBO ones; even though I have a tremendous deal of patience for improbable situations and bad dialogue (hey, story of my life!), I find a lot of it crap that I can't even stomach. And I don't really watch the news except when visitors come to Detroit and mostly I do this to make them nervous on account of the way the most heinous crimes are thrown together with sweet human interests stories, ala A Pet Can Help Cure Your Depression! and Make A Great Barbecue This Memorial Day! But I do get sucked into a variety of unlikely moments -- a movie of the week about a bulimic dancer can hold as much interest for me as Chekhov. After all, any secret life compels you, no matter what the form. I can't get fat, I can't get fat, I will dance as fast as I can. You get the idea.

Today The Sopranos ends its ten year run, and my sadness is great. A decade is something that you can't dismiss. I've been in Detroit for almost one, a city that has shaped me. And suffice to say, the show has as well. My parents loved it, and one of the last memories of my father was watching the end of Season Five, where Tony scrambles back to his house after meeting with Johnny Sack and the Feds show up. Tony makes it back to safety while Van Morrison's "Glad Tidings" plays in the background. This could have been the end of the show, but it's not that kind of show. There would be many more brutal turns of the screw before Tony makes it to wherever his final resting point in the series will be. Even so, no matter what happens tonight, I'll always think of Tony running through the snow to the only home he has, safe from those who would wish him harm, safe from his inevitable death, if only for a little while.

Michelle's Spell of the Day
"Keep your eyes on the sun and you will not see the shadows." Aboriginal proverb

Cocktail Hour
Drinking music suggestion: Get Behind Me Satan The White Stripes

Benedictions and Maledictions
Happy Sunday!


Cheri said...

I remember that episode well- it was the last one we watched before my father cut HBO from our cable bill.

But thanks to lovely A&E (my favorite station ever) every Wednesday they play double episodes in order so that I may enjoy them ALL.

Beautiful picture.

the walking man said...

I never had HBO and am lost when watching this apparently fascinating piece of work on A&E. So I guess you can't miss what you never had. When you all are watching the Sopranos last show, god only knows what I'll be doing except it won't be that.

But I do now this there will be some background noise on, music, television, wife, something will be there because it is the only way I can think is to have noise. Maybe it's the only thing that proves I am still alive and haven't been whacked.

paul said...


eric313 said...

It's almost time for your special hour. I hope you like what you see tonight and it inspires you.

It just isn't the same to me. Hope you start writing again soon.

JR's Thumbprints said...

Hello Michelle,
I just got back from another catfish tournament. No squirrel piss this year, instead, I discovered cactus juice. No television all weekend-- our boat's too small. Take care.

Tim said...

I too used to have to have a tv on to drown out the noises of the night, or the silence. I still find myself falling asleep faster with it on, but now try to turn it off before I fall asleep. I guess it was a subtle change, but now I find the silence comforting... unless my thoughts are on anxiety-producing problems, then the tv is the best sleeping aid.
By the way, I haven't been able to post comments until now, but I have enjoyed your recent writings immensely, along with the pictures. The one of you on the park bench a few days ago, where the sunlight caught your hair and your smile just right, may be one of my new favorites. :)

eric313 said...

Now, I'm just a distant observer, but it seems that the Sopranos is not over.

Hope you had a great night. I wrote my digits off and am typing now with a toothbrush.

Just wanted to say goodnight or goodmorning

"its all the same fuckin' day, man"
like Janice said, you know, I wouldn't ever use a word like that...

Susan Miller said...

Yep, I need noise, just seems to fill some type of space, the space where the shadows are.