Monday, June 25, 2007
Life Is Short -- Get A Divorce
Not so long ago, a lawyer in Chicago put up ads saying, Life Is Short -- Get A Divorce. The ads contained an attractive man and woman in various stages of undress and upset people so much that they had to be removed from billboards. People's objections went along the lines of the fact that the billboards trivialized marriage (hard to believe that a convention that can take place in Vegas performed by an Elvis impersonator could be trivialized!) and that they were signs of a society gone to pot, a society in which the old could be shed for the new without a second thought. I didn't get my divorce for any reasons having to do with boredom, and I suppose most people don't. Most people I know can only break up with someone by gnawing their own arm off, losing vital bits of their identity and soul. At the very least, they aren't swayed by a billboard. The fact that it threatens couples interest me far more than any kind of effect it might have on someone actually considering the act.
I don't know where all the zero body fat men in Calvin Klein underpants were after my divorce like on the billboard-- my first post-divorce date offer came from a man at work that people referred to as Shamu (after the killer whale) who said, I've got a buy one get one free coupon to the Golden Corral. Ever on a diet in those days, I did not eat at places that were named after animals troughs if I could help it. I had to decline. I had to sit at home and evaluate my options -- Lean Cuisine or Healthy Choice, movie or book, deal or no fricking deal. I did not imagine my life would become magically glamorous, and it didn't. But I did become a pariah to many a couple who feared contagion (a valid fear given that break-ups tend to beget break-ups) and became a friend to those who might be considering something else than the love that had turned to tedium in their own lives. I was no billboard and never will be, but when you're looking for a message, you'll take what you can get.
Michelle's Spell of the Day
"One man's remorse is another's reminiscence." Gerald Bath
Drinking music suggestion: The Black Rider Tom Waits
Benedictions and Maledictions