Saturday, June 25, 2011

Forty Forty



When I was a child, I had a lazy eye. I did eye exercises that made me look possessed and some people speculated that I might be mentally challenged. My eye eventually righted itself, but my self-esteem wasn't as resilient. Like my brilliant friend Laura blogged about a few weeks ago, everyone has that horrible inner critic who tells you all the ways in which you look bad and are screwing up everything all the time. Where does this voice come from? And what can one do to silence this bitch? If only rolling around your eyes for a year would do it, we'd all be in luck.

I just read a memoir where a woman named her inner critic. I haven't done this but I'm aware that she's getting a lot smaller. My inner critic would add, Unlike your ass. Yep, she's there but now she doesn't have near as much power. I'm so glad. I saw a writer on a morning show the other day who said she got botox after seeing a picture of herself looking forty and not Salma Hayek forty, but forty forty. It made me sad. Her inner critic obviously expects her to look like Salma Hayek! She seemed like a nice articulate pretty woman who hated herself and didn't mind going on television to detail this hatred in detail. The host offered to give her a hug after the third insult directed toward her innocent body. And I thought my inner critic was mean. But she's getting more quiet with each passing year. Like they say in the movies, silence is golden.

Michelle's Spell of the Day
"It's sad to grow old, but nice to ripen." Brigette Bardot

Cocktail Hour
The new season of Weeds starts next week!

Benedictions and Maledictions
Happy Saturday!

6 comments:

Shea Goff said...

It's funny, I think, that sometimes when we silence the inner critic we can lose a sense of drive.

Surely there is a balance found between you're ugly, fat, stupid to you may want to bathe today or wash those dirty dishes.

Just sayin', personal experience.

As always, I am grateful for your writing and have something to send you if my inner critic can get me out of the house and to the post office.

Brandon Dean said...

Just skimming the title I thought you were talking about having downed 2 forty-ounce bottles of Colt 45 back-to-back! That is forty forty to me! Enjoyed reading your site, pleased to make your acquaintance.

the walking man said...

One of us is MIA. You know where you are at and I know where I am at. So which of us is it?

Anonymous said...

I can remember my Nana and my Dad
saying "don"t get too big for your britches" or if I won a contest in speaking etc, big deal. That gave my inner critic a lot of fuel and I still have those wounds to contend with.

jodi said...

Michelle, All right. This is getting spooky. I too, had the lazy eye thing as a child that still appears when I've had too much to drink, (extra pretty!) or am real tired. My mom hauled me into the optical doctors for those same deranged exercises. They only sorta worked! xoxo

R's Musings said...

My inner critic seemed to shut up for awhile only to come back with a vengeance after some serious hard knocks, especially during the Winter months. Through the Spring and Summer, it seems to be taking a break. I like the idea of naming it - I'll have to give it a try. Glad yours is quieting down! You are as lovely at forty as you were when I met you at thirty! xo ~R