Thursday, May 05, 2011
Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been
So I go to yoga on my birthday and I'm looking in the mirror and my legs look weird. I'm thinking, God, did everything just drop as soon as the date changed, like a wicked little spell? I'm wondering why the formerly kind mirror in the studio is doing this to me as I try to take deep breaths and do tree pose. I go home and realize that I have my yoga pants on backward which accounts for the strange diaper-like appearance and the illusion that my thighs had fallen down to my knees. It was such a great birthday moment, the kind where you realize nothing has changed and that I still can't really dress myself. Also, wearing clothes unintentionally backward is supposed to be good luck. Some consolation for looking like a rube, I suppose. I put my sweater on backward the day I went to my friend Hank's funeral (not a particularly lucky day if memory serves) and spent my entire flight weeping with the v-neck down my back, wondering why the material felt so weird. I chalked it up to being emotional, but alas, in the harsh airplane bathroom, reality came upon me as I noticed that the tag was sticking out under my chin.
Having survived another birthday, one that people refer to as a milestone one, I feel pretty good. Like Baby Grouchie, I've got a GPS which isn't always reliable, but usually gets me where I need to go. And so many wonderful birthday wishes! I remember being told that I was born on the day of the largest protest in the United States (against the war in Vietnam) and consider it fitting. Born into unrest, Generation X, and the era of the Tom Collins (a drink I haven't had since I was seven and snuck a sip at a party), I hope the second part is as fun, exciting, and hopeful as the first. I may not ever know where I'm going, but I know where I've been and as any good detective novel will tell you, that's a start.
Michelle's Spell of the Day
"The past is not a package one can lay away." Emily Dickinson
Drinking dvd suggestion: Jack Goes Boating
Benedictions and Maledictions