Sunday, May 08, 2011
Coming to you after reading Post Secret which is one big bucket of Mother's Day angst. The holiday clearly brings up a lot of feelings, some good, some troubled. As a woman who doesn't have children and whose own mother has been dead for quite some time, this day used to be troublesome as well. But I don't feel that way anymore -- I use it to enjoy the life that my mother gave me which is an interesting one and to honor her by enjoying myself. I'm assuming that she didn't make all those sacrifices of time, money, and countless buckets of energy so I could mope. I miss her more each year and with each year, I get a deeper understanding of what she did for me. Was she perfect? Oh hells no, as the kiddies say. Was she kind of crazy wonderful? Most certainly. Did she buy me the horribly eighties prom dress of my choice? Yes. It looked awesome at the time. I can still wear it. To a party. A very eighties party. With some twist-a-beads.
As for the women out there who choose or can't have children, this one is for you as well. I understand the pressure to have a child. It's daunting the way society reveres motherhood, yet makes few accomodations to actually help women be good mothers. I'm amazed at the shitload of judgement that comes down on women when they do have children for not being perfect mothers or for choosing not to have children at all. And one day at an overpriced, overcrowded restaurant and a mimosa is not an accomadation. More maternity leave? Yes. Help with raising children? Might be nice. To the women who have the courage to have children, I salute you. Even being a halfway decent mother takes more work than anyone will ever know. And to those who don't, well, I like Bill Clinton, I feel your pain on this day, although the gym was not crowded this morning so I take my consolations where I can. And, of course, a happy Sunday to all!