Thursday, December 16, 2010

Best Gifts, Worst Gifts

I always enjoyed my parents' tome, Best Pills, Worst Pills. One thing I really enjoyed as a child was reading medical books, including The Joy of Sex. Okay, this probably doesn't count as a "medical" book, but man could those au natural figure drawings move into some flexible poses. Hard to believe that we went from that look to the torture of Brazillian waxes in thirty short years. Why must the body be constantly monitored -- do you hear me, spirit of Andrea Dworkin? Seriously, I gleaned a fair amount of weird information from my perusals. In one set of ancient medical texts, I learned that birth control was "tawdry and borderline evil" (obviously they never saw some of the children that came from a number of couplings that fit that description), abortion was "criminal, a sin worthy of the death penalty", and that you could cure an earache by blowing cigarette smoke into the offending ear. Almost as reliable as the astrological birth control section included in the first edition of Our Bodies, Ourselves. (To the editors credit, they say it might be "iffy."

In the spirit of Best Pills, Worst Pills, I ask you to tell me about your worst gifts, best gifts list. This can be in general or specific gifts that you love to get, ones that you hate. I tend to love all gifts, not to be a Pollyanna about it, but I do. The worst gift I got was a bouquet of flowers stolen off a tombstone that was still crawling with ants. Daddy, a man not prone to sarcasm usually, called that guy Smooth Operator from that point forward. My best gifts are too numerous too mention -- every single day, something good and joyous comes my way -- a kind word, a sweet gesture (no, I'm not talking to you in the big truck who flipped me off the other day or the meth addict who shook his fist at me and said, Bugs), or something about which to think. I also really enjoyed getting an IPOD -- made a world of difference when on the treadmill or plane. I also recently received a beautiful prayer shawl from Donna B, Hank's mother. The person who makes the shawl prays for the recipient during each stitch. Couldn't think of a more thoughtful gift! What about you guys? Worst, best . . . . Tell all!

Michelle's Spell of the Day
A faith of convenience is a hollow faith. ~Father Mulcahy, M*A*S*H, "A Holy Mess," 1982

Cocktail Hour
Memoir suggestion: Breaking Night Liz Murray

Benedictions and Maledictions
Happy Thursday!


Charles Gramlich said...

Among the best gifts were the alien figurines my son used to get me for Christmas every year. I still have them all.

G said...

I don't really have any best or worst gifts simply because I was/am so impossible to shop for that I am now a frequent receipient of gift cards.

Anyways the best gift I gave to someone was a diamond engagement ring on Christmas morning.

the walking man said...

People, people like the old lady, you, Jim, Jodi, my kids and a few others are the best gifts I have ever been given. Same goes for the worst but then it is not good to talk evil of the past, whether it be dead or alive.

Merry Living

see you soon kiddo

jodi said...

Hey Darling, I read Liz Murray's story recently and of couse, loved it. I could never have found her strength. Of course, I had to knock myself out totally researching her. Even watched the Lifetime movie with Robin Wright Penn, who is one of my favorite. I love all gifts, contentment being my favorite. Mark is going to make me cry. I love that big, hairy, wise and supportive one....