Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Fat Tuesday

On the eve of Lent, I ponder what to give up this year. I'm not particularly ascetic by nature and love vices of all kinds. I've gone the soda/chocolate route in years before, and broke myself of the habit of eating nothing but Triscuits all day long. Yes, you can survive this way. For a very long time. Of course, you can choose to do something active for Lent, something that will bring good into the world. I thought about writing a children's book on one of my very favorite subjects, Jim Jones, but that's already been done in the American Disasters series. I love this set of books and if you're out there listening, I'm available to write about any scary cult disasters for the third to fifth grade set.

Seriously, I'll probably try to be kinder to people. Like all simple vows, the difficulty level is pretty intense. I don't watch much of the Winter Olympics, but I did see the luge the other night after the one athlete died on the course. I don't understand the luge, what makes you good at it or not. I think of it as bend over and kiss you ass goodbye, hope for the best sport. Which is kind of like life -- only we are attuned to the subtle things that make us succeed or fail. It all looks very much the same from the outside. But one small movement this way or that can change everything.

Michelle's Spell of the Day
"People wish to be poets more than they wish to write poetry, and that's a mistake. One should wish to celebrate more than one wishes to be celebrated." Lucille Clifton

Cocktail Hour
Drinking food suggestion: King Cake -- I don't know how to cook so I will not offer a recipe, but instead tell you to find someone who can bake a cake with a plastic Baby Jesus in it. Do not eat/hurt said Baby Jesus. If you get the piece with Him in it, you merely have to throw a party next year. Get everyone so drunk that they don't remember it's you that has this duty. Hide Baby Jesus in house for luck in the coming year.

Benedictions and Maledictions
Happy Fat Tuesday! Rest in peace, Lucille Clifton, author of many wonderful poems. I remember reading "an ordinary woman" as a child and it always stayed with me.


Jason said...

Seinfeld has a really funny bit about the luge and how its the only sport where people can be forced to do it and the outcome is the same. Check it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZZ2z2l3GIo#t=05m00s

オテモヤン said...


Anonymous said...

To follow the way of our Lord, my child, sacrifice is important, especially the symbolic ritual kind.--Cardinal Spellman

Anonymous said...

Slim down, Shamus!!!!!--Jack LaLane

Anonymous said...

Progessive resistance with free weights is my favorite!--Arnold S.

Anonymous said...

No mores Punchkies in Hamtramcks Michigan!--Short bus and Special

Anonymous said...

Since the modern inception of the Olympic Games, the United States has won more than twice as many medals as its closest competitor, the old Soviet Union.

Anonymous said...

--Jim Thorpe

Anonymous said...

Coney Islands are now available via delivery from Drummy Coney Island directly across from Grosse Pointe South High School.--Gnossos Pappadopoulous

jodi said...

Hi Sweetheart, I too, struggle with what to do with lent. I've heard that giving up foodstuff in hopes of weight loss isn't really the ticket. I plan to be less sarcastic, crass and critical. I hate those qualities in myself even tho they are mostly focused on me! xo