Wednesday, October 08, 2008
I love books that rail against things -- love, sex, money, whatever you have. Anger isn't an emotion I allow myself very often as a world-class repressor (hello stomach ulcers) and a conflict-phobe. And I don't really think of this as a problem. Must we vent every negative thought, impulse, and private misery? The demi-god of psychotherapy in our culture has made this the real religion and even though I am guilty of spilling my most personal observations and experiences (does everyone need to know about that Cinco de Mayo party? Umm, yes, especially when I get around the evil substance that gave me the story in the first place), I find myself skeptical about the therapeutic value of telling. Artistic value, sometimes. Does it make me feel any better? Not really.
I've come to understand that I'm old-school, not caring about being ambitious or having life-affirming experiences. While people are sitting around at dinner parties talking about everything they've given up and the difficult but amazing vacations they've taken or are about to take (the trip to Tibet changed my life!), I find myself glazing over and wondering what the hell happened to sitting around on your ass with a cocktail in hand wondering when "All In The Family" was about to air. I find myself terrified by the prospect of a visit to an REI store for camping gear I will never use and clothes I would never wear. I miss writers like James Baldwin who claimed to hate almost everyone and only enjoy food, drink, and a good camera. Women used to talk about having it all -- I can't imagine wanting even half of it. Of course, if I develop this idea, I'll have to write a book about it. Much too taxing.
Michelle's Spell of the Day
"To be a good actor you have to be something like a criminal, to be willing to break the rules to strive for something new." Nicolas Cage
Drinking cocktail suggestion
one shot of vanilla vodka over one shot of cherry vodka
Benedictions and Maledictions