Thursday, September 25, 2008

Gold Stars For Days



As a child, I knew loads of Bible verses, gold stars for days. Still love them, both stars and the verses, especially the depressing ones about how the harvest is here and we're still not saved. That sort of business. Some verses were verboten though, like the one about the husband submitting to the wife. What horseshit, I thought even at ten, and I thought it again when it was trotted out at the last wedding I attended. The preacher, a crackpot fundamentalist type, picked it out special. I suppose the one about owning slaves was just a little too much. But I had to smile through a sermon about how if the wife submits to her husband, then all the planets will function and so on. As the maid of honor, I also got the honor of giving communion. Since the bridesmaid dress is going to be my Halloween costume (Elvira for the curious), I felt comfortable with this role -- I was giving people wine and saying, The blood of Christ. I did not get to wear my usual goth make-up, however, and got into severe trouble for trying to touch up my "natural" look with an lip pencil named Wicked. Wicked got taken away from me for the night, and I had to stick with Yawnfest, the color of the day.

I got asked for a suggestion about the wedding scripture reading and kept saying that I wanted the one about being surrounded by hardships as a way of knowing Christ. It's the one that feels true to me. Everyone thought I was kidding. But what is a union if not hard and wondrous and comforting? I don't know what any marriage is ever like, though, so I guess I shouldn't speculate. I tuned out a lot during the service, the way I do when I don't agree with something. We were surrounded by metal stars over our heads that never lit up. I kept imagining how spectacular the evening would be if they were to glow without warning.

Michelle's Spell of the Day
"Fame is only good for one thing - they will cash your check in a small town." Truman Capote

Cocktail Hour
Drinking cocktail suggestion

Charlie Mingus At The Village Vanguard
one shot of scotch followed by many more

Benedictions and Maledictions
Happy Thursday!

8 comments:

Scott said...

Michelle, I know what you mean about tuning out when you're not interested.

I don't have a lot of Biblical knowledge myself...the only part of the Bible I ever read was Revelations, mostly because of the monsters and the end of the world and all that.

It's too bad they wouldn't let you wear what you wanted ...I bet 'Wicked' looked a lot better than 'Yawnfest'!

YogaforCynics said...

Sounds like a wedding I went to...the oldest of twelve homeschooled fundamentalist kids marrying another homeschooled fundamentalist...basically three lengthy speeches--actually more like fully developed essays, full of counter-arguments and scriptural refutations--about the proper roles of men and women in marriage. Basically, it felt like I was attending an anti-equality rally. For the next few days, I apologized to every woman I know.

Your choice of verse was certainly more interesting, though, alas, most people want to live out the happy ever after fantasy at weddings, so that might be a bit too much reality....

Cool blog, by the way--just stumbled in from Lana's Dreaming Tree....

jodi said...

Hi Beauty, As long as they don't do that horrid Corinthians verse about the banging gong. It gives be a banging headache everytime. I need to hear a verse that recommends giving of yourself selflessly without losing yourself in the process. Wicked lipliner for sure--I favor Flirt!!! xoxoxoxo

Charles Gramlich said...

I got a big kick out of "yawnfest." Elvira is cool.

laughingwolf said...

you saying the overhead stars were not gold, like you expected? :(

Wastelander said...

Without doubt or question..MY FAVORITE picture...evah!!!...


(Yes, that's all I got...pffth!)

Lana Gramlich said...

I think people like to froof up their weddings with pablum-happy readings because they can sense the hardships coming (if they're an older couple, they're probably already well familiar with them, of course.)
Don't know if you've seen it, but the 1st section of the movie "Zeitgeist" (which is available for free through Google, I believe,) has some interesting info, where religion's concerned.

Patricia said...

I was there -no really, I was. I saw you and you saw me, both if trying not to laugh. Believe it or not-when I asked said person about that scripture choice it was defended by said person. Apparently it is the old meaning of submit-not the Western meaning. huh????