Sunday, February 10, 2008
Living In Sin
Although I don't like Valentine's Day, I often give my friends gifts to celebrate the evil holiday, things like Anne Sexton poetry collections or crosses with knives in them, that sort of thing. But my very favorite Valentine's gift to give my friends, whether single or coupled, is an obscure book about breaking up called Uncoupling. This book has offered me comfort in many a dark hour in many a dead end relationship -- reading about other people's problems thrills me to the core and puts my own into perspective. Breaking up may be hard to do, but everyone does it in remarkably similar ways, slow death, fear of contagion that your married friends experience (and those on shaky marital ground should -- if you are unhappy, the implicit or explicit enouragement of the newly broken up offer can expose fault lines), the sad division of things. The book documents both married and what they used to call living in sin couples, gay and straight, short and long-term. It's a strange study of case histories that give you lots of insight into the human heart with lots of references to bondage and liberation.
Today I read in the paper about a slew of books coming out to support single people during the cursed time of hearts and flowers, titles like Better Single Than Sorry and Single and Proud. I'm glad these books exist, but I'll stick with my daily devotion of Uncoupling to counter the plethora of Zales commercials that purport being in love is the very best things in the world. It's pretty great, there's no question about that. When it works, there's nothing better. But being alone has its perks as well. This idea isn't new, of course, but sometimes its nice to hear a voice in the wilderness that isn't all about the promised land.
Michelle's Spell of the Day
"I've never hated a man enough to give back his diamonds." Zsa Zsa Gabor
Drinking music suggestion: Midnight Love Marvin Gaye
Benedictions and Maledictions
Happy Sunday! Stay warm!