Saturday, November 04, 2006
Keep Your Eyes Closed
A friend of mine found out that her boyfriend had been seeing other people, other women, one named Natasha which makes it worse -- that romantic Russian name with its beauty and traces of doomed love, secret meetings, and tortured encounters laced with a gorgeous brocade of desire. By way of explanation, her boyfriend said, "I expected there to be fireworks and bells. I needed a sign to know that I was in love with you. If I became attracted to someone else, I would have called you and broke up immediately." This might be okay in a twenty year old, but this man is pushing fifty with a short stick. To which she replied, "Really makes me want to pick up the phone." The boyfriend, distraught and threatening suicide, continued to dig his grave with one more stupid pronouncement after another; sometimes it really is best to let FTD do the talking along with the cliched card that suggests your ass is in the doghouse. A few years ago, I saw a sign in a flower shop that said, How Mad Is She? with a small bouquet of roses, a medium one, and a gigantic one. I'm guessing that's the one you buy when you've slept with her best friend.
So what are the hanging offenses in love? After what knowledge, can there be no forgiveness, no understanding? We long for love and can hardly live without it, but the compromises it sometimes exacts can be soul-killing. I think back to when I was a child, fearful but hopeful, trying to decide what kind of woman I would be with a man. My fantasies never got past the eating dinner on the floor with Al Green in the background, lit by candles. Never thought about my wedding day or having children or that golden anniversary. I thought about being keeping my eyes closed and never counted the costs. No bells, whistles, or fireworks -- just quiet and harmony and someone to tell secrets to late into the night.
Michelle's Spell of the Day
"I knew I belonged to the public and to the world, not because I was talented or even beautiful, but because I had never belonged to anything or anyone else." Marilyn Monroe
Drinking memoir suggestion: Easter Everywhere Darcy Steinke
Benedictions and Maledictions
Happy Daylight Savings!