A friend of mine found out that her boyfriend had been seeing other people, other women, one named Natasha which makes it worse -- that romantic Russian name with its beauty and traces of doomed love, secret meetings, and tortured encounters laced with a gorgeous brocade of desire. By way of explanation, her boyfriend said, "I expected there to be fireworks and bells. I needed a sign to know that I was in love with you. If I became attracted to someone else, I would have called you and broke up immediately." This might be okay in a twenty year old, but this man is pushing fifty with a short stick. To which she replied, "Really makes me want to pick up the phone." The boyfriend, distraught and threatening suicide, continued to dig his grave with one more stupid pronouncement after another; sometimes it really is best to let FTD do the talking along with the cliched card that suggests your ass is in the doghouse. A few years ago, I saw a sign in a flower shop that said, How Mad Is She? with a small bouquet of roses, a medium one, and a gigantic one. I'm guessing that's the one you buy when you've slept with her best friend.
So what are the hanging offenses in love? After what knowledge, can there be no forgiveness, no understanding? We long for love and can hardly live without it, but the compromises it sometimes exacts can be soul-killing. I think back to when I was a child, fearful but hopeful, trying to decide what kind of woman I would be with a man. My fantasies never got past the eating dinner on the floor with Al Green in the background, lit by candles. Never thought about my wedding day or having children or that golden anniversary. I thought about being keeping my eyes closed and never counted the costs. No bells, whistles, or fireworks -- just quiet and harmony and someone to tell secrets to late into the night.
Michelle's Spell of the Day
"I knew I belonged to the public and to the world, not because I was talented or even beautiful, but because I had never belonged to anything or anyone else." Marilyn Monroe
Cocktail Hour
Drinking memoir suggestion: Easter Everywhere Darcy Steinke
Benedictions and Maledictions
Happy Daylight Savings!
6 comments:
the relationship is fallen through the gallows floor when party a or party b looks at the other and knows there never was love there in the first place. Everything prior to...was just accommodation of needs.
mark
Hmm.. At least he told her and didn't do the "yeah we just went on a trip together but I'm going to abandon you at this wedding after and then not call you anymore."
Men suck, royally. Some women do, too.
One thing I never will do is date a man who has a girlfriend already. I have been in your friends shoes before and I don't want to cause another woman any misery like that.
And Mark has a great point. Best way to explain.
Men and women suck--men and women also anti-suck. There's so little in between.
Almost nobody has an open view of fidelity--the guy should have known where things were headed. She knew, right away. Would flowers have made a difference? Or would they have just made the garbage look prettier on trash day, that day that she would get to clear everything out of her life and house that was offending her with its continued presence? Perhaps he committed the worst offense of all--he allowed himself to become something that only took up space in her life.
Let God or the garbage man sort it out. Either way, the relationship is in better hands.
OMG saw you on pink it the new! Your famous!
"Something that can make you do wrong...can make you do right." - - Al Green
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