Monday, October 01, 2007
I'm A Vampire This Month
"I refuse to look back," a friend of mine said after her break-up, doing her best to not fuck up like Lot's wife and turn into a pillar of salt. She'd spent copious amounts of time analyzing the man during their five-year misery of a relationship where he refused to do anything except sit around on Friday nights and watch videos of the X-Files while drinking what he referred to as a carbonated beverage also known to Texans as a Coke. Sometimes he'd be engaged in months long fantasy games where he was a secret character who could be discovered and killed, his character anyway, and he'd have to start over as someone else, a whole new set of rules and powers and restrictions or so I was told. I never really grasped that world which I assume has been usurped by video games and second lives, internet selves that serve as characters in an alternate universe. But I digress. Mr. X-Files didn't say a lot -- this brilliant strategy kept the people in his life guessing what he could really mean by the small cryptic things he did say. "I'm a vampire this month" carried a lot of weight." My friend and I would discuss -- does he mean a psychic one? Is it a game? Is it real or is it Memorex?
He ended things by moving away from his small, unabomber-like abode and wrote her a letter telling her in not very many words that it was over. This break-up provided no closure, that most undefinable of psychological constructs, the idea that we can know why things happened, that everything has been said that needed to be said. Of course, my friend cracked and spent a few additional months kicking around the ending, coming to no good conclusion about why she'd been so hooked and why it had ended. I never watched "The X-Files," never understood what they were looking for or what the appeal was of all that sexual tension between Mulder and Scully. I'd had my fill of that kind of thing watching "Who's the Boss?" as a child and waiting for Judith Light and Tony Danza to get it on. But I like to imagine their evenings in a dark, quiet room, not talking, and my friend imagining that the man she was with was also someone else, someone who would eventually die and be reborn as another character and that change might make all the difference.
Michelle's Spell of the Day
"Living never wore one out so much as the effort not to live." Anais Nin
Potion to bring in money: Lemongrass root
Benedictions and Maledictions
Happy Monday! Congratulations to Detroit for the brilliant fourth quarter save -- 34 points, a record! And thanks to all for the great thoughtful comments. As to my new friend, Totall, e-mail me your address, and I'll be glad to send you some books!