I was sweeping my kitchen the other day (a very rare occurrence -- I try to avoid my kitchen altogether as a rule, using it as a storage space for Dr. Pepper and Halloween decorations) and found a fortune in the bristles of the broom -- Consider the danger when things are going smoothly. There's a lot of voodoo superstitions involving brooms and scissors, things about getting people to come to your house, leave your house. I thought about the fortune, that thin slip of paper that I must have liked enough to keep and how it ended up with all the other debris of living. I'm not a person for whom things "go smoothly" as a rule. As for considering danger, that's pretty much all that I do. Occupational hazard, I'm guessing. Writers are not paid for their happiest most ecstatic moments, their smoothest dreams.
So I'm cleaning the space and the eating disorder documentary Thin is on in the other room (thank you HBO on Demand!), and I'm watching these emaciated girls, most of them who look ill and a little on edge, a little strung out. And the most crazy of all is one that looks pretty normal but details her daily eating plan (no more than 200 calories a day, all written out -- one bite of chicken, two grapes, etc.) and she says, If I have to die to be thin, so be it. It's all I've ever wanted. And I think of all the normal situations that have gone from fine to snafu to fubar without any warning. Once I was at a lunch with friends, all in varying degrees of crisis when one expressed her desire to live in a storage unit so that nobody could find her and things would be easier. What does one say to such a plan? It's like the one bite of chicken, two grapes idea. It's not very practical! It doesn't make sense. But the heart wants what the heart wants. The mind can get as sick as the body and a whole lot faster. I left most of my food on my plate that day. Appetite is a strange thing -- it comes and goes according to mood as much as anything else. When I got there, I was starving. But someone came along with a broom and swept it all away in the time while I wasn't thinking about anything, not considering the danger at all.
Michelle's Spell of the Day
Drinking book suggestion: A Lifetime of Secrets Frank Warren
Benedictions and Maledictions